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Do you agree or disagree? It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v.172

It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v. 172
In the modern world, it is crystal clear that many factors have dramatically revolutionized human’s being life, especially after the industrial revolution. In this regard, there are many events occur in different location of the world every day. Some people believe that it is important to understand all of these events, while others do not believe so. As far as I am concerned, it will be better if people know about events and news that take place in the world. In the following paragraph, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons. First, in the modern era, one of the most important ways for improving quality of decision making in the life is gaining a lot of experience about people in all of the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect their life. To put in other words, a human being with enhancing information about different aspects of life can improve the novel idea about making a better decision. For example, I remember when I was a university student at one of the best university in my country, University of Tehran, I wanted to select my professional field of my major. Therefore, I have done a lot of research about a novel idea and new challenges in mechanical engineering in the entire world. After a while, I could get the best novel idea about improving safety in a crash. Now, I am one of the most famous engineers, which help human safety in the world. In fact, if I had not known the important problems among the people life, I would not be able to improve human' s life. Second, today' s, news and social network play a big role in the familiarity of culture, political orientation, and tradition in all of the world. In this regard, having a lot of information and knowledge about other countries can enhance communication between all of the people in the world. For instance, once when I was a student I wanted to travel to Italy. Therefore, I decided to read a lot of news and website about Italian people and their cultures to update my data. By doing so, when I arrived at the capital of Italy, Rome, I have found one of the best friends from Italy. As a result, if I had not known about Italian people, I would not be able to improve my communication. In conclusion, apart from what was mentioned above, there are several reasons that subscribe for which it is better for people to have a lot of information around the world. Thus, this is my deeply held belief in knowing the events not only improve the performance of decision but also can enhance the quality of communication between the humans in the world.
In the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors have
dramatically
revolutionized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
especially
after the industrial revolution. In this regard, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
occur in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
location of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand all of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, while others do not believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. As far as I
am concerned
, it will be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that take place in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In the following paragraph, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.

First
, in the modern era, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ways for improving quality of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is gaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of experience about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, even if it is unlikely that they will affect their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
. To put
in other words
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being with enhancing information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the novel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about making a better decision.
For example
, I remember when I was a university student at one of the best university in my country, University of Tehran, I wanted to select my professional field of my major.
Therefore
, I have done a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of research about a novel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
challenges in mechanical engineering in the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. After a while, I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best novel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about improving safety in a crash.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I am one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
engineers, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
safety in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In fact, if I had not known the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problems among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I would not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s life.

Second,
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and social network play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in the familiarity of culture, political orientation, and tradition in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In this regard, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of information and knowledge about other countries can enhance communication between
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For instance
, once when I was a student I wanted to travel to Italy.
Therefore
, I decided to read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and website about Italian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their cultures to update my data. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, when I arrived at the capital of Italy, Rome, I have found one of the best friends from Italy.
As a result
, if I had not known about Italian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I would not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
my communication.

In conclusion
, apart from what
was mentioned
above, there are several reasons that subscribe for which it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of information around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Thus
, this is my
deeply
held belief in knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the performance of decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can enhance the quality of communication between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v. 172

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
460 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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