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TPO47do you agree or disagree? It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v.1

TPO47 It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v. 1
Different people have different experiences and opinion and mould themselves according to it. Talking about opinions, I personally on my ground level resonate and agree with the majority of people thinking that living in high rise apartments, feels quiet, lonely and unhappy moreover that living in an independent house has its own advantages, benefits and luxury. Society consists of different people, Theses People make choices and decisions that speak out loud about their mental health and psychology. People living in high rise apartments are proven to have or also acquired by time so called antisocial personality trait. They like to interact less with people. Life in these apartments can also be referred to as silent life. As this world is moving at such a fast pace that people already have got no time to socialize. Human being is a social animal and when it is deprived of its needs, things tend to get worse for him. People living years in apartments have self claimed that how dull and boring their life becomes. They may live far from things such as pollution, dirt and noise, but they also get deprived of the natural necessities of life. They are not exposed to fresh air, new people, different kind of activities which also include sports like running, walking. Their role in social community is also less contributed and participated. These are the people who get lazy by time because people usually living in high rise apartments belongs to good socioeconomic status. They are more prone to have an unhealthy lifestyle, style or eating habits. All of this in turn, turn themselves into unhappy or lonely. Their body slowly starts getting suffocated and the suffocation reaches of their mind. On the contrary, living in a house as compared to high rise apartments are healthy mentally, physically and emotionally. Consider everything reverse in this case. They are a major part of the society wellbeing and basically represent society they have a healthy lifestyle that includes a morning walk with friends from the neighbourhood and a routine that is considered ideal. They are more exposed and close to nature from which drives their positive mindset. They are the ones who can't afford to live in suffocation or isolation. In conclusion, I support the idea of living in house independently or with family doesn't matter.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
experiences and opinion and
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
themselves according to it. Talking about opinions, I
personally
on my ground level resonate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thinking that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
, feels quiet, lonely and unhappy
moreover
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages, benefits and luxury.

Society consists of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
Did you mean "these"?
Theses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices and decisions that speak out loud about their mental health and psychology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are proven
to have or
also
acquired by time
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
antisocial personality trait. They like to interact less with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
can
also
be referred
to as silent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
this world is moving at such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
no time to socialize. Human being is a social animal and when it
is deprived
of its needs, things tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse for him.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
have self claimed that how dull and boring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
becomes. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from things such as pollution, dirt and noise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deprived of the natural necessities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They are not exposed to fresh air, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kind of activities which
also
include sports like running, walking. Their role in social community is
also
less contributed and participated. These are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lazy by time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
belongs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
socioeconomic status. They are more prone to have an unhealthy lifestyle, style or eating habits. All of this in turn, turn themselves into unhappy or lonely. Their body
slowly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
getting suffocated and the suffocation reaches of their mind.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are healthy mentally,
physically
and
emotionally
. Consider everything reverse
in this case
. They are a major part of the society
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
and
basically
represent society they have a healthy lifestyle that includes a morning walk with friends from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
and a routine that
is considered
ideal. They are more exposed and close to nature from which drives their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mindset.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
are the ones who can't afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in suffocation or isolation.

In conclusion
, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
independently
or with family doesn't matter.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay TPO47 It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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