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Do you agree of disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is believed that the majority of humans do not want to have many children or prefer to be child free. This trend is more appropriate for developed countries. In my opinion, it will have negative consequences on the population of the world, however, the danger of overpopulation will not exist anymore. On the one hand, having fewer children will have a negative effect on the humanity. Firstly, people will face that the majority of the world population will be pensioners, who are not able to work. Developed European countries, for instance, are often called Old Europe, because more than 50 percent of their population are elderly people. That is why nowadays there are a lot of migrants from the developing or even not developed states. Therefore, th population of the developing countries will replace developed one. Secondly, some cultures and nations might disappear, because of the low population. Finally, it is reverse to the human being, because people do not give a new life and the ability to give birth may extinct. It means that people stop to exist anymore. On the other hand, this trend will reduce the risk of overpopulation, because the maximum quantity of people in the world must not exceed 8 milliards. In other words, the human will have a chance to live and have enough food and water. For example, it is known that only 1 percent of all water is suitable for drinking. Moreover, about 30 percent of the global population suffers from hunger, because of food scarcity. Therefore, having fewer men in the world will help to safe the good life in the Earth. To conclude, nowadays young men from the developed states prefer to be child free or have just one of two kids. There are some negative possible consequences, they are a lot of elderly people, disappear of humanity. The decrease in the population may help to provide a better life.
It
is believed
that the majority of humans do not want to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children or prefer to be child free. This trend is more appropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
countries. In my opinion, it will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
however
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of overpopulation will not exist anymore.

On the one hand, having fewer children will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the humanity.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will face that the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will be pensioners, who are not able to work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developed
European countries,
for instance
, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
called
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
Europe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more than 50 percent of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
That is
why nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
migrants from the developing or even not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
states.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
will replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
one.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures and nations might disappear,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
Finally
, it is reverse to the human being,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not give a new life and the ability to give birth may extinct. It means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to exist anymore.

On the other hand
, this trend will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of overpopulation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the maximum quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not exceed 8 milliards.
In other words
, the human will have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
food and water.
For example
, it
is known
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1 percent of all water is suitable for drinking.
Moreover
, about 30 percent of the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
suffers from hunger,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of food scarcity.
Therefore
, having fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to safe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life in the Earth.

To conclude
, nowadays young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
states prefer to be child free or have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of two kids. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
possible consequences, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, disappear of humanity. The decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to provide a better life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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