Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

do you agree/ disagree that students learn better with the help of technology? use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

do you agree/ disagree that students learn better with the help of technology? use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
Migration of young people from the countryside to the cities is not a new thing. These days, there is a massive influx of people; young adults especially, into the towns and the cities, while only the older population is left behind. This essay will discuss the problems caused by this trend and the possible ways in which they can be tackled. To begin, there are a lot of problems associated with migration of young adults from the countryside to the towns. Firstly, this trend leads to overpopulation in the major towns and cities. This, in turn, consequently causes a strain on the scarce resources in the cities. For instance, there will be a surge in the number of the working population. Hence, at job interviews, there will be a survival of the fittest, as a very high number of youths will be fighting for limited job spots. In addition to this, another issue associated with migration from rural to urban area is the health complications that come with overcrowding. It leads to a widespread of infectious diseases due to overpopulation and under-ventilated settlements. Possible ways of tackling rural to urban migration can be divided into two; individual and government. The Individual youth should venture into entrepreneurship or agriculture instead of chasing after white collar jobs in the city. Furthermore, the government should give grants or loans to unemployed youths willing to set up a business or go into agriculture in urban areas. In conclusion, this essay has discussed how overcrowding and decreased food supply is part of the problems associated with the massive influx of youths into the cities. In addition, it also examined possible government and individual roles in solving this menace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Migration
of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the countryside to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is not a new thing. These days, there is a massive influx of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
; young adults
especially
, into the towns and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the older population is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind. This essay will discuss the problems caused by this trend and the possible ways in which they can
be tackled
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of young adults from the countryside to the towns.
Firstly
, this trend leads to overpopulation in the major towns and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This, in turn,
consequently
causes a strain on the scarce resources in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, there will be a surge in the number of the working population.
Hence
, at job interviews, there will be a survival of the fittest, as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high number of youths will be fighting for limited job spots.
In addition
to this, another issue associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
from rural to urban area is the health complications that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with overcrowding. It leads to
The phrase 'a widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a widespread of
infectious diseases due to overpopulation and under-ventilated settlements.

Possible ways of tackling rural to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
can
be divided
into two; individual and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The Individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should venture into entrepreneurship or agriculture
instead
of chasing after white collar jobs in the city.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give grants or loans to unemployed youths willing to set up a business or go into agriculture in urban areas.

In conclusion
, this essay has discussed how overcrowding and decreased food supply is part of the problems associated with the massive influx of youths into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In addition
, it
also
examined possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individual roles in solving this menace.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay do you agree/ disagree that students learn better with the help of technology? use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts