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Some students learn better by reading. Others learn more from listening to a teacher. Which way of learning is better for you, and why? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v.4

Some students learn better by reading. Others learn more from listening to a teacher. Which way of learning is better for you, and why? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 4
Needless to say that education is not a preparation for life; it is life itself. Therefore people have striven to motivate their children to be well-educated. Recently, the best way for students to gain knowledge has aroused many debates. Although many people claim that reading books is the most efficient educative tool for students, I would rather firmly believe that listening to teachers is the most significant aspect of the education process. In what follows, I will aptly substantiate my viewpoints. The first exquisite point to be mentioned in that teachers can not only help students to grasp important information, but their unique teaching styles could help them to retain it forever. To shed light on that point, unlike just reading facts, I undoubtedly believe that teachers can simplify information, come up with the fundamental scientific base of it, accompanied it with several educative visual tools like videos and practical experiments that can help students to have a profound understanding for every piece of information they have to learn. Furthermore, discussions with teachers and asking questions will help students to develop critical thinking skills that will enable them to retain what they are leaning for their lifelong. To offer a piece of relevant evidence that supports my claim, I vividly remember the article that I read the last week in New York Times about a study conducted at Harvard university stating that students can maintain and grasp not more than thirty percent of the information they read for the first time. However, if they have a chance to acquire the analysis skills, it will let the information engraved forever in their minds. As you can see, the role of teachers in helping students to retain information is for more significant than learning just facts. Another equally significant point to be mentioned is that teachers can help students to link the grasped information into their practical life. To elaborate on this point, I firmly believe that learning facts can not guarantee that students could be successful in their careers in the future. Admittedly, employers today always seek a candidate who able to help them to expand their businesses by applying the theories and concepts that they have learned to achieve remarkable progress and profits for their business. To highlight that point, I vividly remember Glaxo, one of the most leading companies in the pharmaceutical industry in my country, announced that they had a vacant position and looking for a candidate who could come up with unique research for medication could help in the treatment of hepatitis. Fortunately, my cousin did it based on the knowledge that he gained from college. As can see, the teacher' s abilities to help students to connect the information they learn into their life can help them to be successful in their future. In conclusion, if we contemplate that mentioned reasons, we will soon realize that students will be well-educated by listening to teachers who could help them to grasp, keep information and connect it to their lives.
Needless to say that education is not a preparation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
; it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
itself.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have striven to motivate their children to be well-educated. Recently, the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain knowledge has aroused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debates. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that reading books is the most efficient educative tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I would
rather
firmly
believe that listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is the most significant aspect of the education process. In what follows, I will
aptly
substantiate my viewpoints.

The
first
exquisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
to
be mentioned
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to grasp
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their unique teaching styles could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to retain it forever. To shed light on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
reading facts, I
undoubtedly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can simplify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the fundamental scientific base of it, accompanied it with several educative visual tools like videos and practical experiments that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a profound understanding for every piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn.
Furthermore
, discussions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and asking questions will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that will enable them to retain what they are leaning for their lifelong. To offer a piece of relevant evidence that supports my claim, I
vividly
remember the article that I read the last week in New York Times about a study conducted at
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
stating that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can maintain and grasp not more than thirty percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they read for the
first
time.
However
, if they have a chance to acquire the analysis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
engraved forever in their minds.

As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to retain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is for more significant than learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
facts.

Another
equally
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
to
be mentioned
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to link the grasped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
into their practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To elaborate on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, I
firmly
believe that learning facts can not guarantee that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could be successful in their careers in the future.
Admittedly
, employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
always seek a candidate
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a able".
who able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to expand their businesses by applying the theories and concepts that they have learned to achieve remarkable progress and profits for their business. To highlight that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, I
vividly
remember Glaxo, one of the most leading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in the pharmaceutical industry in my country, announced that they had a vacant position and looking for a candidate who could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with unique research for medication could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the treatment of hepatitis.
Fortunately
, my cousin did it based on the knowledge that he gained from college. As can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
teacher&
#039; s abilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to connect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they learn into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to be successful in their future.

In conclusion
, if we contemplate that mentioned reasons, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be well-educated by listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to grasp,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and connect it to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students learn better by reading. Others learn more from listening to a teacher. Which way of learning is better for you, and why? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
502 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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