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q2. Do you agree or disagree that students learn better with the help of technology? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

q2. that students learn better with the help of technology? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
It is a common belief that the people who commit a crime should not sentence a fine, they should work for the community. I will briefly explain this situation, supporting by rehabilitation of the prisoners. To begin, many people think about the judges should comment to the guilty make amends to society. Thus, they should work unpaid like as a volunteer such as in a municipality or the government places. For example, local authorities try to hire the prisoners in order are forgiven by the communities in my city. They are employers in the city, however they can not give the money to them. Therefore, they encourage to enable to prevail like others, not only money, also old proud and response. Due to the fact that, when their fine will end up, they will be free. This project has started at 2015, and many of criminals product hard ever had. I firmly agree every person deserves another change, even if a thief or a murder. On the other hand, another belief says that if the prisoners do not sentence a fairly fine, the society structure will be broken by them. In addition to them, other people who tend to crime, can not give up their worse plan. However, it should be changed by believing them. To join the society without judging, everybody escapes from crime, even also bad-tempered behaviour. For example, a geology teacher put in the prison the reason of being an imposter in last two years, but the judge gave him a job which teaching his course in there. He stays in the same place, but he released the truth day by day. He is becoming more tolerant, kind, indulgent before he had never been. That is to say, second change to the people can heal their bad side, they can return to innocence. Maybe, the worst thing is in the world is forgiving. In conclusion, I restate that it is a better way to hire the criminal than staying in the jail. To make amends to the society, they can easily adapt to the unpaid jobs. Also, they fell be motivated by acceptance of the other people. Over their jail days, they can continue good habits and volunteering.
It is a common belief that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who commit a crime should not sentence a fine, they should work for the community. I will
briefly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this situation, supporting by rehabilitation of the prisoners.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the judges should comment to the guilty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
amends to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Thus
, they should work unpaid like as a volunteer such as in a municipality or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
places.
For example
, local authorities try to hire the prisoners in order
are forgiven
by the communities in my city. They are employers in the city,
however
they can not give the money to them.
Therefore
, they encourage
Did you mean "enabling"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to enable
to prevail like others, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
money,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
proud and response. Due to the fact that, when their fine will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up, they will be free. This project has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 2015, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of criminals product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
ever had. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
every person deserves another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, even if a thief or a murder.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, another belief says that if the prisoners do not sentence a
fairly
fine, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
structure will
be broken
by them.
In addition
to them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to crime, can not give up their worse plan.
However
, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by believing them. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without judging, everybody escapes from crime, even
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-tempered
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For example
, a geology teacher put in the prison the reason of being an imposter in last two years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the judge gave him a job which teaching his course in there. He stays in the same place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he released the truth day by day. He is becoming more tolerant, kind, indulgent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he had never been.
That is
to say, second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can heal their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
side, they can return to innocence. Maybe, the worst thing is in the world is forgiving.

In conclusion
, I restate that it is a better way to hire the criminal than staying in the jail. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
amends to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, they can
easily
adapt to the unpaid jobs.
Also
, they fell
be motivated
by acceptance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Over their jail days, they can continue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits and volunteering.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q2. that students learn better with the help of technology? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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