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Do you agre or disagree with the following statement? leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Do you agre or disagree with the following statement? leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Happiness cannot be measured in terms of wealth. I strongly agree with this statement and feel that there are many factors that can make a person happy other than money. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will explore about my views regarding happiness. To begin with, happiness is an emotion and thus, is not quantifiable. The situations to be happy for differs from person to person as happiness is relative. Therefore, it becomes difficult to define happiness. For example, a rich individual won’t be concerned about a small amount of money, whereas a poor individual will be happy with that particular amount of money. Generally, people tend to feel joyful, is when they are satisfied, fulfilled or have achieved something. For instance, a student scoring grade ‘A’ in an exam would definitely feel delighted about his achievement. Moreover, happiness can be found in simpler things, as small as a walk with friends which can make some people cheerful, but sometimes even big achievements doesn’t make people happy, for example, an individual will not be happy even after receiving a promotion as he doesn’t enjoy the work he is doing. My experience of achieving happiness is setting a short attainable goal on a weekly basis and work toward achieving it. Further, one can also make long term goals along with the short one and work hard to achieve it. Accomplishing such goals can make me happy. Similarly, different factors can make people feel happy, since it is a subjective feeling. To conclude, as happiness is relative it is very difficult to predict, what and how things will make a person happy. However, specific aspect which can make them cheerful are the things and the situations they desire at that moment of time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
cannot
be measured
in terms of wealth. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
other than money. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will explore about my views regarding happiness.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is an emotion and
thus
, is not quantifiable. The situations to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
for differs from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is relative.
Therefore
, it becomes difficult to define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
For example
, a rich individual won’t
be concerned
about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of money, whereas a poor individual will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
with that particular amount of money.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
joyful, is when they
are satisfied
, fulfilled or have achieved something.
For instance
, a student scoring grade ‘A’ in an exam would definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
delighted about his achievement.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
can
be found
in simpler things, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
as a walk with friends which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cheerful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
achievements doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
,
for example
, an individual will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
even after receiving a promotion as he doesn’t enjoy the work he is doing. My experience of achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is setting a short attainable goal on a weekly basis and work toward achieving it.
Further
, one can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
long term goals along with the short one and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve it. Accomplishing such goals can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
factors can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, since it is a subjective feeling.

To conclude
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is relative it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to predict, what and how things will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
However
, specific aspect which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them cheerful are the things and the situations they desire at that moment of time.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you agre or disagree with the following statement? leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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