Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Watching TV is bad for children. v.1

Watching TV is bad for children. v. 1
The television is a remarkable technological advancement which has become a part of our daily lives. Children, as well as, adults watch TV for various reasons. It has various effects on children especially as a result of their young minds which can easily be influenced by what they see. Watching television has its pros and cons but I believe its advantages outweigh its disadvantages for reasons which I am going to mention below. Firstly, TV has become a very important educational tool for children. For example, educational programmes such as Sesame Street, Barney and friends etc. program have been an integral part of my childhood and helped me in numerous ways to improve my English vocabulary, understanding of some simple arithmetic and a lot of other things of educational importance. Secondly, the television helps children to know more about the world around them. For instance, certain programmes are aired about geography, history, animals and a lot of other important things. This helps the child to know about the differences between continents, the weather variations across countries and other important worldly affairs. It was through television that I first knew about time differences across the globe and its correlation with latitude. In addition, TV helps to improve bonding within the family. This happens when the whole family sit in the living room to enjoy a nice family programme such as family movies or current affairs programme such as ‘Who wants to be a millionaire’. In conclusion, the television remains an important tool in a person’s childhood. Nonetheless, parents have to ensure children watch the right programmes and do no spend an awful lot of time watching TV at the detriment of other important things the child needs to do.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a remarkable technological advancement which has become a part of our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
,
as well
as, adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV for various reasons. It has various effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
especially
as a result
of their young minds which can
easily
be influenced
by what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has its pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe its advantages outweigh its disadvantages for reasons which I am going to mention below.

Firstly
, TV has become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
educational tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
such as Sesame Street, Barney and friends etc. program have been an integral part of my childhood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in numerous ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my English vocabulary, understanding of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple arithmetic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things of educational importance.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to know more about the world around them.
For instance
, certain
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are aired
about geography, history, animals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the child to know about the differences between continents, the weather variations across countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
worldly affairs.

It was through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
that I
first
knew about time differences across the globe and its correlation with latitude.
In addition
, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
bonding within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This happens when the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
sit in the living room to enjoy a nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
movies or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
such as ‘Who wants to be a millionaire’.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
remains an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
tool in a person’s childhood. Nonetheless, parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the right
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and do no spend an awful lot of time watching TV at the detriment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things the child needs to do.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Watching TV is bad for children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts