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Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Some people believe that students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped and taught separately. To what extent do you agree and disagree? v.5

Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Some people believe that students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped and taught separately. v. 5
Schools provide education for young ones, including those with anti-social behaviours, that can affect other students. Hence, it is argued by some people that students who are unruly and disobedient should be separated and instructed differently from others. I agree with this view, as it would help improve academic performance and protects students from harmful influences. First of all, youngsters in schools would learn better when noisy and disobedient students are taught in separate classes. There would be less disruptions during classes and it would reduce the need for teachers to interrupt teaching so as to discipline some students. For instance, many parents in Nigeria enrol their wards in school with less disruptive students, as they believe that their children would better in such schools. Thus, the academic result of these students would improve. Furthermore, the young ones would be protected from the negative influences of their less serious peers when unruly ones are separated from the serious students. Young ones are often faced with peer pressure and if their associates in the educational institutions have unwholesome behaviours and habits, these can easily be inculcated in them. For example, youngsters in schools would be able to learn from those with good behaviours and have positive role models when they do not mix often with unruly fellows. As a consequence, many young ones in schools would not develop antisocial behaviours. In conclusion, the grouping and separation of disruptive students from others would improve students' academic performance, while they would be protected from negative influences. Efforts geared towards educating people about these benefits should be encouraged.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
provide education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, including those with anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, that can affect other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Hence
, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
unruly
and disobedient should
be separated
and instructed
differently
from others. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
academic performance and protects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from harmful influences.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, youngsters in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
would learn better when noisy and disobedient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taught
in separate classes. There would be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun disruptions is countable.
less
disruptions during classes and it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the need for teachers to interrupt teaching
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
discipline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents in Nigeria enrol their wards in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with less disruptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, as they believe that their children would better in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Thus
, the academic result of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
would
be protected
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences of their less serious peers when
unruly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are separated
from the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
faced with peer pressure and if their associates in the educational institutions have unwholesome
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and habits, these can
easily
be inculcated
in them.
For example
, youngsters in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
would be able to learn from those with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role models when they do not mix
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
with
unruly
fellows. As a consequence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
would not develop antisocial
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

In conclusion
, the grouping and separation of disruptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from others would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
students' academic performance, while they would
be protected
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences. Efforts geared towards educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about these benefits should
be encouraged
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Some people believe that students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped and taught separately. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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