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Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of pet ownership for animals and for the community as a whole v.2

Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of pet ownership for animals and for the community as a whole v. 2
Moving towards the 21st century, many people are nowadays expressing a deeply growing concern about pet ownership. In fact, there are some who hold firmly to their belief that it has positive impacts on the pets as well as society. However, others argue convincingly that the negative effects outweigh the positive side. Therefore, some arguments both for and against this issue will be addressed in the following paragraphs. To begin with, there are two main points for people to defend the former argument owning pets has plenty of advantages to the animals and the community. It is a well-documented fact that the pets are well-fed on their own. The obvious example to prove is that people provide a warm shelter, including sufficient food, water, toys, and special equipment to the pets. Furthermore, there is no doubt that having a pet reduces the number of crimes committed by a vulnerable mind and mental illness patients. It also helps the owners relieve their stress and build up a positive attitude. Despite the fact that people gain the benefits of adopting pets, but there are two primary evidences for people to support the opposite arguments. First and foremost, it is commonly accepted that keeping animals is a cruel way of taking their freedom. Actually, the ways humans live are different from animals do, so they are not able to understand the pets' feelings which may cause mistreated and abusive behaviors. Moreover, there is no denying that pet owners have to deal with the high expense of raising dogs and cats. This is supported by the fact that the food, medical fees, and veterinary bills cost a huge sum of money, thus the household budget is definitely affected. All things considered, it is my strong belief that having a pet brings more advantages to the owners and the society as well. Accordingly, I highly recommend the governments should enhance people' s awareness in terms of raising dogs and cats. If this recommendation is carried out, the comprehensive development of our society will be ensured.
Moving towards the 21st century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are nowadays expressing a
deeply
growing concern about pet ownership. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who hold
firmly
to their belief that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
as well
as society.
However
, others argue
convincingly
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments both for and against this issue will
be addressed
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two main points for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to defend the former argument owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages to the animals and the community. It is a well-documented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
are well-fed on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. The obvious example to prove is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
provide a warm shelter, including sufficient food, water, toys, and special equipment to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
.
Furthermore
, there is no doubt that having a pet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the number of crimes committed by a vulnerable mind and mental illness patients. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the owners relieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and build up a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude.

Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain the benefits of adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are two primary evidences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to support the opposite arguments.
First
and foremost, it is
commonly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that keeping animals is a cruel way of taking their freedom. Actually, the ways humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from animals do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not able to understand the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pets&
#039; feelings which may cause mistreated and abusive behaviors.
Moreover
, there is no denying that pet owners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with the high expense of raising dogs and cats. This
is supported
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that the food, medical fees, and veterinary bills cost a huge sum of money,
thus
the household budget is definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

All things considered, it is my strong belief that having a pet brings more advantages to the owners and the society
as well
.
Accordingly
, I
highly
recommend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should enhance
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s awareness in terms of raising dogs and cats. If this recommendation
is carried
out, the comprehensive development of our society will
be ensured
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of pet ownership for animals and for the community as a whole v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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