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Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. v.2

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. v. 2
Nowadays, many people are living and working in a foreign country either willingly or unwillingly. This essay will discuss the advantages, including better lifestyles and a chance to expose to different cultures. This essay will also outline the disadvantages, including difficulties in coping with languages and culture of living and working abroad countries. To begin with, the main advantage is that they will earn more money than they are currently earning in their homeland. They are paid more in foreign countries for the same kind of job they are doing in foreign countries which will help them to uplift their living standard. Secondly, as they are living in abroad they will surely have the chance to involve in different cultures and traditions that are followed in the countries they worked. It will make them more aware of the different cultures and traditions being followed in outsides countries. Similarly, it can boost the country economically. On the contrary, living and working in foreign countries have some of the major disadvantages like difficult to cope with language and cultures. Most of the people who go abroad as a labour are quite uneducated. So, for these types of people, it might be difficult to learn languages. For instance, when the employer invited their employee to their festivals than it might be difficult for people who are reserved and are unwilling to change. Furthermore, they are far from their native country, family, and friends. So, they may suffer from homesickness and depression. To conclude, although living and working in abroad have some of the disadvantages like language barrier and cultural barriers. These problems will surely suppress by the payment they get which will uplift the living standard and their lifestyles.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
either
willingly
or
unwillingly
. This essay will discuss the advantages, including better lifestyles and a chance to expose to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. This essay will
also
outline the disadvantages, including difficulties in coping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
countries.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main advantage is that they will earn more money than they are
currently
earning in their homeland. They
are paid
more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for the same kind of job they are doing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to uplift their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standard.
Secondly
, as they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
they will
surely
have the chance to involve in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions that
are followed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they worked. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more aware of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions
being followed
in outsides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Similarly
, it can boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economically
.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
major disadvantages like difficult to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
as a
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
are quite uneducated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it might be difficult to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
For instance
, when the employer invited their employee to their festivals than it might be difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are reserved
and are unwilling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Furthermore
, they are far from their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, family, and friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they may suffer from homesickness and depression.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
have
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
disadvantages like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier and cultural barriers. These problems will
surely
suppress by the payment they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
which will uplift the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standard and their lifestyles.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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