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Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country v.1

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country v. 1
Nowadays, people travel to various abroad countries, in order to, get worthwhile opportunities like jobs, great living environments and facilities in a society. Once they find a job, according to their need, they usually consider working there, and in most of the cases, they get settled in a new country. Although they have to live in a new strange place which could be so far away from their family, they get to have an experience of the new people and their cultures. In continuing education, living in a completely new world gives a great exposure, especially if a country is so developed and the people there are so supportive for diverse culture in their country. The Probability of getting high salary has always been maximized in a developed country. If someone gets a considerable amount of wages, it becomes easier for him to look after his family in a proper way, he can fulfil all he and his family need in a better way. For example, if someone in your family is so ill that he got caught by a severe disease, which requires a diligent treatment, which can only be done in a hospital, which is so expensive. However, the fact that you earn well you can get this treatment done quickly without worrying about the money. So, this is one of the most relevant reason to work in those countries. Second, if we look at the other side of it, we have to adapt the culture and living habits of their country. Sometimes what happens, we are so accustomed to the climate of our local country that it becomes so hard to make ourselves adjust in a foreign country. For example, if I am from country like India, where weather is mostly warm, it will be difficult for me to make myself comfortable in a cold country like England. Also, sometimes you get so busy in doing your work in abroad that it becomes so tough for you to come back to your country, to meet your family. Also, by living in a foreign country which is already a developed country, we make more rise in their economy and their other developments instead of our own native country. In conclusion, there are both merits and demerits in both scenarios, so it all depends on the situation or condition a person might be in. If someone is from a poor background and he gets this opportunity to work in a foreign country, then it is a prudent decision to go there. But if someone is already getting enough amount of money in his country, then he should consider working in his native country, to assist more development in his country.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to various abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, in order to,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
worthwhile opportunities like jobs, great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
environments and facilities in a society. Once they find a job, according to their need, they
usually
consider working there, and in most of the cases, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
settled in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Although they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
strange place which could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
to have an experience of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and their cultures.

In continuing education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
world gives a great exposure,
especially
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
developed and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
supportive for diverse culture in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The Probability of getting high salary has always
been maximized
in a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
a considerable amount of wages, it becomes easier for him to look after his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
, he can fulfil all he and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
need in a better way.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
ill that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
caught by a severe disease, which requires a diligent treatment, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be done
in a hospital, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive.
However
, the fact that you earn well you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
this treatment done
quickly
without worrying about the money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is one of the most relevant
Please check whether a plural form of 'reason' should be used.
reason
to work in those countries.

Second, if we look at the other side of it, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adapt the culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
habits of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
what happens, we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
accustomed to the climate of our local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that it becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ourselves adjust in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, if I am from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like India, where weather is
mostly
warm, it will be difficult for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
myself comfortable in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like England.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy in doing your work in abroad that it becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tough for you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Also
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is already a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more rise in their economy and their other developments
instead
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
native country.

In conclusion
, there are both merits and demerits in both scenarios,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it all depends on the situation or condition a person might be in. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
is from a poor
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
background and
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
this opportunity to work in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, then it is a prudent decision to go there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
is already getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
amount of money in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, then he should consider working in his native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, to assist more development in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
451 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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