Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Directions of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organizations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent v.1

Directions of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organizations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent v. 1
The increasing number of citizens in metropolises have resulted in several issues, which include heavy traffic and pollution. Fortunately, all these side effects of excessive population can be overcome by government's actions. The first detrimental consequence of overpopulation is daily car traffic, since the infrastructure of cities commonly is not prepared for the excessive number of private vehicles, as a consequence, habitants may spend hours to commit to work, increasing stress levels and health problems. For instance, in cities like Sao Paulo, drivers take an average of three hours inside cars everyday, which promotes a sedentary lifestyle. To overweigh this issue, public administrators should invest in public transport, since these investments would make them more efficient and attractive for the community. As a result, individuals would choose buses, trains, and metros over cars, reducing the traffic. Additionally, a high population in cities increases pollution levels, thanks to the elevated use of natural resources as well as industries, as a consequence, people from these urban areas tend to be unhealthier than the average citizen. For example, medical studies have shown that people living in metropolises are more likely to have asthma and other lung diseases than individuals from rural regions, due to the air pollution. To solve this problem, the government ought to reforest some areas and restrict the use of cars, since they are the main responsible for air pollution. Therefore, cities would have a cleaner air and a healthier population. To conclude, an excessive number of habitants may cause traffic jungle and health issues related to pollution. Nevertheless, a few measures from the governors to restrict and promote some habits might tackle most problems.
The increasing number of citizens in metropolises have resulted in several issues, which include heavy traffic and
pollution
.
Fortunately
, all these side effects of excessive population can
be overcome
by
government
's actions.

The
first
detrimental consequence of overpopulation is daily
car
traffic, since the infrastructure of
cities
commonly
is not prepared for the excessive number of private vehicles, as a consequence, habitants may spend hours to commit to work, increasing
stress
levels and health problems.
For instance
, in
cities
like
Sao Paulo
, drivers take an average of three hours inside
cars
everyday
, which promotes a sedentary lifestyle. To
overweigh this
issue, public administrators should invest in public transport, since these investments would
make
them more efficient and attractive for the community.
As a result
, individuals would choose buses, trains, and metros over
cars
, reducing the traffic.

Additionally
, a high population in
cities
increases
pollution
levels, thanks to the elevated
use
of natural resources
as well
as industries, as a consequence,
people
from these urban areas tend to be unhealthier than the average citizen.
For example
, medical studies have shown that
people
living in metropolises are more likely to have asthma and other lung diseases than individuals from rural regions, due to the air
pollution
. To solve this problem, the
government
ought to reforest
some
areas and restrict the
use
of
cars
, since they are the main responsible for air
pollution
.
Therefore
,
cities
would have a cleaner air and a healthier population.

To conclude
, an excessive number of habitants may cause traffic jungle and health issues related to
pollution
.
Nevertheless
, a few measures from the governors to restrict and promote
some
habits might tackle most problems.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Directions of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organizations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts