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people spent alot of money on various things as they earn more money nowadays than before is it a positive or negative development v.1

people spent alot of money on various things as they earn more money nowadays than before is it a positive or negative development v. 1
Some critics judge that criminals should have been sentenced, whereas others contradicts this idea and insist that there are many other beneficial approaches to reform them. In my opinion, I believe offenders can have positive contributions to the public if they are not only puts behind bars and willing to transform themselves. When it comes to prison, many taxpayers argue that paying the bills for criminal's accommodation is an illogical thing as offenders commit heinous crimes, but still receive benefits from the public. Therefore, doing community service is the best choice for criminals since they are available to pay back to the community. Doing so, simultaneously, can also make up society's needs, such as lack of labourers to work unskilled jobs. There is no doubt that it is a cost effective punishment and a cheaper alternative to prison. For some offenders who have been sentenced to long term in prison, they will find it a challenge to integrate into the society, along with finding employment after released. This is because of their criminal records, which is founded upon in society. However, doing community service can give them a new chance to reform, change their impression on society and also prevent them from re-offending again on the condition that they are willing to change their behaviour. What is more, if ex-convicts continue to utilize their personal skills during their sentence, it will help them. As a result, prison is not the only method to retribution offenders. In conclusion, although some supporters of the prison believe that it is the only way to punish criminals, I agree with others that being effective to use ex-convict's skills to do community service is the best option for the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
critics judge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should have
been sentenced
, whereas others contradicts this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and insist that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other beneficial approaches to reform them. In my opinion, I believe offenders can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
contributions to the public if they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
puts behind bars and willing to transform themselves.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
taxpayers argue that paying the bills for criminal's accommodation is an illogical thing as offenders commit heinous crimes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
receive benefits from the public.
Therefore
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service is the best choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
since they are available to pay back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. Doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
simultaneously
, can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up society's needs, such as lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
to work unskilled jobs. There is no doubt that it is a cost effective punishment and a cheaper alternative to prison.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offenders who have
been sentenced
to long term in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, they will find it a challenge to integrate into the society, along with finding employment after released. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
records, which
is founded
upon in society.
However
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service can give them a new chance to reform,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their impression on society and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from re-offending again on the condition that they are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
What is more
, if ex-convicts continue to utilize their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
during their sentence, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method to retribution offenders.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supporters of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
believe that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with others that being effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
ex-convict's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service is the best option for the public.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay people spent alot of money on various things as they earn more money nowadays than before is it a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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