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Directors of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organisations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent What are your views v.1

Directors of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organisations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent What are your views v. 1
In this competitive world, to increase the production of a commodity, advertisement has become a good source. By which some are motivated and purchase without in need. However, others believe that to gain knowledge in order to make improvement in our lives, ads play an indispensable role. While, I completely agree with these given notions, as without in need we buy the stock, nevertheless, it also helps us to increase the awareness in the society to ease our lives. This essay will discuss both the views behind my viewpoints. On the one hand, mankind is affected from attractive advertisements given by their favourite celebrities, which is shown again and again, while watching TV, outside hanging Banners and other. Consequently, people are biased to assert without actual requirements. For instance, my husband is a huge fan of the Arsenal team. Once the T-Shirt with mentioned name “ARSENAL” was noticed by him in the shopping mall and immediately purchased. Moreover, nowadays bargaining is no more long-lasting; therefore when people look for any special discounts, they acquired it. On the other hand, advertisement plays a pivotal role to spread awareness amongst people about the product either in the terms of “GIZMOS, FOOD produce or MEDICAL”. In the contemporary world, humankind is totally depending on gadgets such as mobiles, kitchen accessories and others to ease our lives. For instance, people do not have time for preparing food at home, thus their purchase ready to eat food by watching ads. Moreover, women’s hygienic commodity’s advertisement is very important in order to stop infections in their body. To summarize, in my point of view, one should pay attention while purchasing any output either it is in use or not, however it is very useful to gain knowledge in order to change one’s lifestyle.
In this competitive world, to increase the production of a commodity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source. By which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are motivated
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
without in need.
However
, others believe that to gain knowledge in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
improvement in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, ads play an indispensable role. While, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notions, as without in need we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the stock,
nevertheless
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to increase the awareness in the society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will discuss both the views behind my viewpoints.

On the one hand, mankind is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
from attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrities, which
is shown
again and again, while watching TV, outside hanging Banners and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are biased
to assert without actual requirements.
For instance
, my husband is a huge fan of the Arsenal team. Once the T-Shirt with mentioned name “ARSENAL”
was noticed
by him in the shopping mall and immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
.
Moreover
, nowadays bargaining is no more long-lasting;
therefore
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look for any special discounts, they acquired it.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
plays a pivotal role to spread awareness amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the product either in the terms of “GIZMOS, FOOD produce or MEDICAL”. In the contemporary world, humankind is
totally
depending on gadgets such as mobiles, kitchen accessories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have time for preparing food at home,
thus
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
ready to eat food by watching ads.
Moreover
, women’s hygienic commodity’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
infections in their body.

To summarize
, in my point of view, one should pay attention while purchasing any output either it is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or not,
however
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to gain knowledge in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
one’s lifestyle.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Directors of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organisations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent What are your views v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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