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Developed countries should take more refugees from poorer countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Developed countries should take more refugees from poorer countries. v. 4
Each year many people face war & it’s after effects. Millions of people get displaced due to war or natural disasters & they are left with no place to live. Some people believe that developed countries should adopt more refugees from poor countries & I completely favor this debate. To start with, many people have been victims of war crime that has been normally initiated by developed countries. The prominent example is America that has started war at Syria & before that Vietnam. In these countries standard of living is pretty low now since people strive for basic necessities of live. It is the moral obligation of such countries to provide shelter to these refugees so that they can have better lives as well. The good thing about adopting refugees is that, they do not tend to become a problem for any country since they are initiating their lives all over again & strive to earn good bread & butter for their families. In this regard, one good step has been taken by Canadian Government that they start adopting refugees more and more in their country in order to bring economic stability around the world. One important factor that must not be overlooked it that people who faced natural disaster or war, are deprived people looking for help on basic requirements to live life. If not properly taken care they can be rebellious & can create issues locally or internationally. All human beings have the equal right to live their lives peacefully & happily & developing countries should play their part in this regard. To recapitulate this debate, it is very much important that we consider giving a good life to refugees to let them start their life all over again. By adopting refugees, it will not only benefit those particular people but also add good value in developed countries.
Each year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face
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war
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; it’s after effects. Millions of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
displaced due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
or natural disasters
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no place to
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live
.
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Some
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people
believe that developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should adopt more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; I completely favor this debate.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been victims of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
crime that has been
normally
initiated by developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The prominent example is America that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
at Syria
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that Vietnam. In these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
standard of living is pretty low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strive for
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of
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live
. It is the moral obligation of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to provide shelter to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
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so
that they can have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as well
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing about adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
is that, they do not tend to become a problem for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
since they are initiating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
all over again
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; strive to earn
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good
bread
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; butter for their families.

In this regard, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
step has
been taken
by Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
more and more in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in order to bring economic stability around the world.

One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be overlooked
it that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who faced natural disaster or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
,
are deprived
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people
looking for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
on basic requirements to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
life. If not
properly
taken care they can be rebellious
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; can create issues
locally
or
internationally
. All human beings have the equal right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
peacefully
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
;
happily
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should play their part in this regard.

To recapitulate this debate, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we consider giving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
life to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their life all over again. By adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefit those particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
value in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Developed countries should take more refugees from poorer countries. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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