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Despite the environmental concerns raised by scientists people are not changing their life style Why so What should be done to encourage the people in order to save environment v.1

Despite the environmental concerns raised by scientists people are not changing their life style Why so What should be done to encourage the people in order to save environment v. 1
Reading books are incredibly significant way to acquire knowledge. From that prospective, many people believe reading electronic books are more efficient than watching TV and playing video game through a computer. I strongly disagree with the statement as I think, juvenile should experience all the available activities to express their potential talent aside from reading books. There is no doubt reading is an important habit for children to obtain the necessary knowledge which is essential to guide them a glorious life. Reading books help children to know about histories, traditions, science, cultures and languages that are not available in their regular textbooks. Thus, children are tending to be more advance, informative and innovative. In addition, reading books inspire students to compose interesting books and choose writing as their future career. Similarly, offspring, those are interested in science may choose to read books and cross steps towards their goals by reading interested articles which will take official study step ahead. On the other hand, despite saying books are incredibly significant to earn information, it is not a hobby for many students as well. Consequently, books should not equip their free time and harm favourite hobbies. Moreover, it might be dull and boring for kids to keep themselves on the boundary of reading as they are studying a notable number of subjects in the school. After tedious schooling hour’s adolescence are in need of physical and mental activities to recover their brain. Furthermore, watching TV and computer game keep a variety in their daily routine and having different things to do will keep them interested and energetic in their daily routine. To sum up, a certain group of people is advising children to study online books to keep their merit better. But, according my personal opinion, despite saying uncountable benefits of reading electronic books, children should be free to have fun by watching a favourite TV show and playing computer games to energize them which is important to relax and rest their brain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
incredibly
significant way to acquire knowledge. From that prospective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are more efficient than watching TV and playing video game through a computer. I
strongly
disagree with the statement as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, juvenile should experience all the available activities to express their potential talent aside from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books.

There is no doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
habit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to obtain the necessary knowledge which is essential to guide them a glorious life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to know about histories, traditions, science, cultures and languages that are not available in their regular textbooks.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are tending to be more advance, informative and innovative.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
inspire students to compose interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to write".
writing
as their future career.
Similarly
, offspring, those
are interested
in science may choose to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and cross steps towards their goals by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
interested articles which will take official study step ahead.

On the other hand
, despite saying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
incredibly
significant to earn information, it is not a hobby for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students
as well
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should not equip their free time and harm
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
hobbies.
Moreover
, it might be dull and boring for kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
themselves on the boundary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
as they are studying a notable number of subjects in the school. After tedious schooling hour’s adolescence are in need of physical and mental activities to recover their brain.
Furthermore
, watching TV and computer game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
a variety in their daily routine and having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things to do will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
them interested and energetic in their daily routine.

To sum up, a certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is advising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
their merit better.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, according my personal opinion, despite saying uncountable benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be free to have fun by watching a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
and playing computer games to energize them which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to relax and rest their brain.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Despite the environmental concerns raised by scientists people are not changing their life style Why so What should be done to encourage the people in order to save environment v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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