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Describe your favouriteroom either of your own house or of other places and explain why it is your favourite? v.1

Describe your favouriteroom either of your own house or of other places and explain why it is your favourite? v. 1
Given the power and influence of the super-rich, it might seem as if social status and material possessions are the new symbol of personal worth, but in everyday life I don’t think this is true. It is apparent that most celebrities today are admired and envied solely for their material worth and possession in various social hierarchies. Many of these people are known to turn their backs on friends, cheat on their spouses and spend their evenings in over-indulging in alcohol and/or drugs. Things like owning a mansion, driving an expensive car and getting into A-list parties exalted above old-fashion values. Ultimately, though, it is the many readers of gossip magazines and celebrity blogs who reinforce these ideas. Nevertheless, I do believe that in their day to day lives most people still believe in values such as honour, kindness and trust. In some way most of us want to form loving families, raise our children to be good citizens, stand up for the downtrodden and protect our communities from harm. We still form friendships, romances and business partnerships based on old-fashion criteria. When our trust is abused or we are unfairly treated, we see that as a major violation of our relationship and we judge the wrongdoer accordingly. In conclusion, I believe there is some truth to the notion that status and possessions have super-seeded old-fashion values as a measure of a person’s worth. Looking beyond the tabloids, however, it is apparent that most ordinary people have still preserved and old-fashion conscience.
Given
the power and influence of the super-rich, it might seem as if social status and material possessions are the new symbol of personal worth,
but
in everyday life I don’t
think
this is true.

It is apparent that most celebrities
today
are admired
and envied
solely
for their material worth and possession in various social hierarchies.
Many
of these
people
are known
to turn their backs on friends, cheat on their spouses and spend their evenings in over-indulging in alcohol and/or drugs. Things like owning a mansion, driving an expensive car and getting into A-list parties exalted above
old
-fashion values.
Ultimately
, though, it is the
many
readers of gossip magazines and celebrity blogs who reinforce these
ideas
.

Nevertheless
, I do believe that in their day to day
lives
most
people
still
believe in values such as
honour
, kindness and trust. In
some
way most of us want to form loving families, raise our children to be
good
citizens, stand up for the downtrodden and protect our communities from harm. We
still
form friendships, romances and business partnerships based on
old
-fashion criteria. When our trust is
abused or
we are
unfairly
treated, we
see
that as a major violation of our
relationship and
we judge the wrongdoer
accordingly
.

In conclusion
, I believe there is
some
truth to the notion that status and possessions have super-seeded
old
-fashion values as a measure of a person’s worth. Looking beyond the tabloids,
however
, it is apparent that most ordinary
people
have
still
preserved and
old
-fashion conscience.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe your favouriteroom either of your own house or of other places and explain why it is your favourite? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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