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Describe your favorite photograph Where was the photo taken? Who took the photo? What can be seen from the photo? Explain why it is the favorite photograph for you. v.1

Describe your favorite photograph Where was the photo taken? Who took the photo? What can be seen from the photo? Explain why it is the favorite photograph for you. v. 1
It is indeed a fact that providing learning based on gender is an argumentative topic in society. Some people believe that it is more beneficial to maintain boys and girls differently in colleges. Nevertheless, other opines that mixed schools do not provide an expected outcome. As per my understanding, I strongly recommended establishing girls and boys combined schools due to the various advantages can be received from this mixed culture. Firstly, this gender combination will provide an opportunity to share ideas and establish a better platform to gather lots of experiences from different aspects. Also, this is an extra benefit for both parties to understand their differences and similarities to improve education and social responsibilities. According to the research done by the University of California, it has been indicated that mixed institutions have more capable students than the other universities. Secondly, students can gain sound knowledge about the girls and boys cultural gaps to create a proper sense for both parties. Also, this can lead students to generate a good relationship with each other to carry out their learning expectations. As per the new paper reported in the last week, it has been shown the merits which can be received by learning in mixed schools. Also, the newspaper published a comparison report on how mixed schools improve education than gender-separated schools. Finally, it can be concluded that mixed school students always improving their knowledge and gather better education and good environmental experiences than gender-separated schools. Therefore, it is our responsibility to influence the government to create more boys and girls schools.
It is
indeed
a fact that providing learning based on gender is an argumentative topic in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is more beneficial to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
differently
in colleges.
Nevertheless
, other opines that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not provide an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
outcome. As per my understanding, I
strongly
recommended establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
combined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
due to the various advantages can
be received
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
culture.

Firstly
, this gender combination will provide an opportunity to share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and establish a better platform to gather lots of experiences from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.
Also
, this is an extra benefit for both parties to understand their differences and similarities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
education and social responsibilities. According to the research done by the University of California, it has
been indicated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
institutions have more capable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than the other universities.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can gain sound knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
cultural gaps to create a proper sense for both parties.
Also
, this can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to generate a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with each other to carry out their learning expectations. As per the new paper reported in the last week, it has
been shown
the merits which can
be received
by learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Also
, the newspaper published a comparison report on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
education than gender-separated schools.

Finally
, it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
always improving their knowledge and gather better education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environmental experiences than gender-separated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Therefore
, it is our responsibility to influence the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe your favorite photograph Where was the photo taken? Who took the photo? What can be seen from the photo? Explain why it is the favorite photograph for you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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