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Would you like to live a long, calm life until 100 years old or would you prefer a shorter life but much more intense. Decide and explain your reasons. v.3

Would you like to live a long, calm life until 100 years old or would you prefer a shorter life but much more intense. Decide and explain your reasons. v. 3
It is argued by a group of the population that being physically strong is a requirement for being good at sports, while the other group feels that being mentally strong is all that matters in order to excel in sports. This essay explores the viewpoint of both the groups and also provides a personal opinion on the topic. Physical strength is the need of the hour for individual sports requiring power. Non-team sports such as Weightlifting, Javelin and Shotput totally rely on a person's core body strength to excel. Olympic records and world records are often held by individuals who have the best physique during the event. For example, Cuban weightlifters are almost always the world record holders as they have chiselled body with great pulling power. By being psychologically sound, a person can make strong, tactful and strategic decisions, which are essential to overcome the opponents in a team sport. Team sports such as Soccer, Cricket require the players to be mentally strong in order to ensure that they do not get overcome by high pressure situations. For example, in 2018 Soccer World cup finals, the French players were well in control of their emotions, thereby ensuring an easy win against their opponent, Italy, to clinch the coveted trophy. To conclude, being physically and emotionally strong is essential for players succeed in their chosen sports. In my personal opinion, I would agree that being mentally strong to give a slight advantage to a player in order to win a clash against a strong opponent.
It
is argued
by a group of the population that being
physically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
is a requirement for being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, while the other group feels that being mentally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
is all that matters in order to excel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This essay explores the viewpoint of both the groups and
also
provides a personal opinion on the topic.

Physical strength is the need of the hour for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
requiring power. Non-team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as Weightlifting, Javelin and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shotput
totally
rely on a person's core body strength to excel. Olympic records and world records are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
held by individuals who have the best physique during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
For example
, Cuban weightlifters are almost always the world record holders as they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
chiselled
body with great pulling power.

By being
psychologically
sound, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
, tactful and strategic decisions, which are essential to overcome the opponents in a team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as Soccer, Cricket require the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to be mentally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
in order to ensure that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overcome by high pressure situations.
For example
, in 2018 Soccer World cup finals, the French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
were well in control of their emotions, thereby ensuring an easy win against their opponent, Italy, to clinch the coveted trophy.

To conclude
, being
physically
and
emotionally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
succeed in their chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In my personal opinion, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that being mentally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
to give a slight advantage to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
in order to win a clash against a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
opponent.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Would you like to live a long, calm life until 100 years old or would you prefer a shorter life but much more intense. Decide and explain your reasons. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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