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Describe your childhood home. Then retell a favorite memory you had of living there. Use examples and details in your response. v.1

Describe your childhood home. Then retell a favorite memory you had of living there. Use examples and details in your response. v. 1
Early Man used horses, camels and donkeys for the transportation, however, the invention of the wheel gave birth to many modes of transportation but flights are considered to be most beneficial. Owing to this, all over the world, huge amount of flights is increasing because of personal, business and commercial intentions. Aircrafts do have pros and cons due to several reasons. According to me, flights should be taxed more. To commence with, the advantages, flights provide comfort to its passengers and freights. It can be said that airlines are the fastest mode of transportation. For example, in case of emergency, if one has to visit a place which is thousands miles away then only flight will be useful. In contrast, due to taxes, flight tickets are expensive, which makes it impossible for a middle class person to travel through the airlines. Moreover, weather conditions have a negative impact that causes delay in departure. As a result, public's time got wasted. Flights produce greenhouse gases, mainly carbon dioxide from fuel. Such gases contribute to global warming. To reduce this, the government should tax the flight tickets more, so that the amount collected through taxes can be used to invent electric flights. Taxation on domestic flights will force people to use other modes, such as buses and trains which will result in the lesson the carbon dioxide level caused by flights. In conclusion, it can be said that officials should encourage people to use flights only when other modes of transportations are not available. Taxation can help the government to do do. Aviation contributes 2% of the world's carbon dioxide, so taxation can mitigate the pollution to a great extent.
Early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
horses, camels and donkeys for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
however
, the invention of the wheel gave birth to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
are considered
to be most beneficial. Owing to this, all over the world, huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
is increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of personal, business and commercial intentions.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aircrafts
do have pros and cons due to several reasons.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
should
be taxed
more.

To commence with, the advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
provide comfort to its passengers and freights. It can
be said
that airlines are the fastest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
For example
, in case of emergency, if one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
visit a place which is thousands miles away then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
will be useful.

In contrast
, due to taxes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
tickets are expensive, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it impossible for a middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
person to travel through the airlines.
Moreover
, weather conditions have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact that causes delay in departure.
As a result
, public's time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
wasted.

Flights produce greenhouse gases,
mainly
carbon dioxide from fuel. Such gases contribute to global warming. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should tax the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
tickets more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the amount collected through taxes can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to invent electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
. Taxation on domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
will force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
, such as buses and trains which will result in the lesson the carbon dioxide level caused by flights.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that officials should encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
are not available. Taxation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
do do
. Aviation contributes 2% of the world's carbon dioxide,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
taxation can mitigate the pollution to a great extent.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe your childhood home. Then retell a favorite memory you had of living there. Use examples and details in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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