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Describe the most expensive piece of technology you own: you should say: 1. ) what the piece of technology is? 2. ) how much it cost and where you bought it? 3. ) what you use it for and how often you use it? and whether or not you think it was good value for mon v.1

Describe the most expensive piece of technology you own: you should say: 1. ) what the piece of technology is? 2. ) how much it cost and where you bought it? 3. ) what you use it for and how often you use it? and whether or not you think it was good value for mon v. 1
It is irrefutable that schools are torchbearers who play an imperative role in building the successful career of a person. Although many students are not satisfied with their education at school, due to these, they hold a negative thought when they leave. This essay will discuss two main causes of learning, including placements and teaching methods, and it will also discuss solutions to these problems by increasing placement record and updating learning methods. To begin with, there is certainly no denying that these problems are caused due to average placement record and the teaching method are poor due to which, it creates less bonding with students and teacher. In school, individuals are learning with seniors are around them, so when a lesser number of companies visits campus and those who appeared for an interview, when the interviewer asks questions which were not taught, then these masses starts giving a negative response towards school and learning method which eventually affects the juniors and starts creating a negative image in their mind. For instance, when I was in my final year of graduation, nearly 800 candidates were applying for a campus job, and amongst them, only 450 were placed, and the interview was entirely out of topic from the syllabus while the rest of them were jobless. So, due to these reasons, many people hold a negative impression on it. Nevertheless, there are several ways to solve these problems by considering the youth as the future development of a nation and always improving their syllabus concerning the latest trends used by companies which helps them in securing jobs. As the world is getting advance, the technology is also updating day-by-day, but these updating doesn't happen in the courses, so it generates a gap between companies and studies. For example, the survey conducted at " University of Mumbai " suggested that updating of the program occurs every four years. Thus, updating it every year will decrease the gap between the two and eventually help in increasing placement record. To conclude, there is a growing number of the people's attitude towards learning are increasing in the negative aspect. This essay discussed the two main causes by considering placements and teaching method, also provided the solutions to solve it by updating the course of study and boosting job opportunity in a particular field.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are torchbearers who play an imperative role in building the successful career of a person. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students are not satisfied with their education at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to these, they hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
. This essay will discuss two main causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
placements
and teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
, and it will
also
discuss solutions to these problems by increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
placement
record and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
methods.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is
certainly
no denying that these problems
are caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
placement
record and the teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
are poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which, it creates less bonding with students and teacher. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, individuals are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
with seniors are around them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when a lesser number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
visits campus and those who appeared for an interview, when the interviewer asks questions which were not taught, then these masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
giving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
response towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
which
eventually
affects the juniors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
image in their mind.
For instance
, when I was in my final year of graduation,
nearly
800 candidates were applying for a campus job, and amongst them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
450
were placed
, and the interview was
entirely
out of topic from the syllabus while the rest of them were jobless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to these reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impression on it.

Nevertheless
, there are several ways to solve these problems by considering the youth as the future development of a nation and always improving their syllabus concerning the latest trends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in securing jobs. As the world is getting advance, the technology is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updating
day-by-day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updating
doesn't happen in the courses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it generates a gap between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and studies.
For example
, the survey conducted at
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
University of Mumbai
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updating
of the program occurs every four years.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updating
it every year will decrease the gap between the two and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
placement
record.

To conclude
, there is a growing number of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
are increasing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspect. This essay discussed the two main causes by considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
placements
and teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
,
also
provided the solutions to solve it by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
updating
the course of study and boosting job opportunity in a particular field.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe the most expensive piece of technology you own: you should say: 1. ) what the piece of technology is? 2. ) how much it cost and where you bought it? 3. ) what you use it for and how often you use it? and whether or not you think it was good value for mon v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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