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Describe the most expensive piece of technology you own. You should say: - What the piece of technology is? - How much it cost and where you bought it? - What you use it for and how often you use it? And whether or not you think it was good value for mone v.1

Describe the most expensive piece of technology you own. You should say: - What the piece of technology is? - How much it cost and where you bought it? - What you use it for and how often you use it? And whether or not you think it was good value for mone v. 1
People migrate from one country to another to secure their future. These knowledgeable young aspirants move to the Developed Nations in search of better jobs. Talented and Well-educated persons from Underdeveloped Nations must be given an equal opportunity. This essay agrees with the opinion and detailed reasoning will be given in the following paragraphs. To begin with, Nationality comes after the person's achievements and abilities. The more Valuable the human assets are, the more growth will be seen in the bucolic. Consequently, it will be more beneficial for the whole Nation. Secondly, the zeal he showed to get the high salaried job in well prosperous country, that will be continued to increase the progress of that company. For Example, in America, the CEO of Google, Sunder Pichai made extraordinary efforts to develop the unique software and he uplifted the homey's image and profits. This company remembered the genius of the Indian Origin and promoted him. However, underdeveloped nations will become poorer and richer nations will become richer. But, the respect of that province will become better in the eyes of the whole world. Employees after gaining experience from big MNCs invest in their own nation and consequently, becomes inspirational for all and thus, the poorer rustic start showing progress. To conclude, an equal preference must be given to each and every person, irrespective of their nationality. In my opinion, this will benefit both the respective countries in respect of the growth and the prosperity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
migrate from one country to another to secure their future. These knowledgeable young aspirants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
in search of better jobs. Talented and Well-educated persons from Underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an equal opportunity. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the opinion and detailed reasoning will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Nationality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
after the person's achievements and abilities. The more Valuable the human assets are, the more growth will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the bucolic.
Consequently
, it will be more beneficial for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
.
Secondly
, the zeal he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the high salaried job in well prosperous country, that will
be continued
to increase the progress of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For Example
, in America, the CEO of Google, Sunder
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pichai
made extraordinary efforts to develop the unique
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
software and
he uplifted the homey's image and profits. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
remembered the genius of the Indian Origin and promoted him.

However
, underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
poorer and richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
richer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the respect of that province will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
better in the eyes of the whole world. Employees after gaining experience from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNCs
invest in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
inspirational for all and
thus
, the poorer rustic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
showing progress.

To conclude
, an equal preference
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to each and every person, irrespective of their nationality. In my opinion, this will benefit both the respective countries in respect of the growth and the prosperity.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe the most expensive piece of technology you own. You should say: - What the piece of technology is? - How much it cost and where you bought it? - What you use it for and how often you use it? And whether or not you think it was good value for mone v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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