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Describe the man's problem, and the two suggestions that his friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the man should do, and why? v.1

Describe the man's problem, and the two suggestions that his friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the man should do, and why? v. 1
The following essay will discuss the strength and weaknesses of the men and women, and how this affects the profession election and the exclusions in jobs though the history. I think that currently there will not have to be a difference between the genders in terms of professions, it would be a matter of skills. Historically, the society had specific roles for each one of the genders. For example, women had to take care of children and the house, and, men had to hunt and defend the family. Many years later, this same idea was used in the factories, where the delicate tasks were developed by females; and hard work was done by males. Some people believe that this organisation is established based on the human body structure and the professions were classified by gender. However, in the XXI century, this conception is old-fashioned. The definition of the professional development should be selected only by the person. For instance, today many women work in construction areas, that is considered hard work, and there would not be a problem because the technology assures that they could do the job without any danger to their health. On the other hand, nowadays plenty of men are recognised for work in a kitchen, they are known as chefs. At the same time, it is common to find some man that are in charge of the housekeeping while their spouses work. In my opinion, it is not right to exclude any male or female from the development of a profession, those would be defined by the personal skills, knowledge and attitude.
The following essay will discuss the strength and weaknesses of the
men
and women, and how this affects the
profession
election and the exclusions in jobs though the history. I
think
that
currently
there will not
have to
be a difference between the genders in terms of
professions
, it would be a matter of
skills
.

Historically
, the society had specific roles for each one of the genders.
For example
, women had to take care of children and the
house
, and,
men
had to hunt and defend the family.
Many
years later, this same
idea
was
used
in the factories, where the delicate tasks
were developed
by females; and
hard
work
was done
by males.
Some
people
believe that this
organisation
is established
based on the human body structure and the
professions
were classified
by gender.

However
, in the XXI century, this conception is
old
-fashioned. The definition of the professional development should
be selected
only
by the person.
For instance
,
today
many
women
work
in construction areas, that
is considered
hard
work
, and there would not be a problem
because
the technology assures that they could do the job without any
danger
to their health.
On the other hand
, nowadays
plenty
of
men
are
recognised
for
work
in a kitchen, they
are known
as chefs. At the same time, it is common to find
some
man
that are in charge of the housekeeping while their spouses work.

In my opinion, it is not right to exclude any male or female from the development of a
profession
, those would
be defined
by the personal
skills
, knowledge and attitude.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe the man's problem, and the two suggestions that his friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the man should do, and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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