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Describe the steps, through which you once learned a new thing and explain how you learned it. Include details and examples in your response. v.1

Describe the steps, through which you once learned a new thing and explain how you learned it. Include details and examples in your response. v. 1
In the digital age, people are becoming famous easily with the assistance of the internet and television. From my point of view, this phenomenon has both upside and downside but it is likely to cause more negative consequence than positive ones. Admittedly, being famous could bring numerous fancy things such as admiration, money, expensive lifestyle and powerful to individuals. Firstly, a popular personality will have a fan – base (the fans of a singer, group, or team considered as a group) that are willing to share the same happiness and sadness with his or her. Obviously, the greatest advantage of being a celebrity is being a wealthy person. Money assists famous people in living in beautiful mansions or houses with servants and buying everything they want. Moreover, celebrities could receive special treatment everywhere they go such as special tables at restaurants, special seats at theaters, or others. On the contrary, the famous is not as gorgeous as which in people’s imagination. Obviously, celebrities will have no privacy; for example, every detail about them, their family or their love life could be the talk of the town. In addition, famous people could be followed by a stalker who will follow them, bother them, or break into their house. Furthermore, celebrities always have to behave perfectly and if they make a small mistake, they will be judged and criticized by abundant of person. This situation could put them at risk of pressure and have a mental illness. All things considered, fame is not fabulous and people have to trade plentiful things to be famous. Therefore, it is better to be the average person because fame could cause negative consequence.
In the digital age,
people
are becoming
famous
easily
with the assistance of the internet and television. From my point of view, this phenomenon has both upside and downside
but
it is likely to cause more
negative
consequence than
positive
ones.

Admittedly
, being
famous
could bring numerous fancy things such as admiration, money, expensive lifestyle and powerful to individuals.
Firstly
, a popular personality will have a fan
base (the fans of a singer, group, or team considered as a group) that are willing to share the same happiness and sadness with
his or her
.
Obviously
, the greatest advantage of being a
celebrity
is being a wealthy person. Money assists
famous
people
in living in
beautiful
mansions or
houses
with servants and buying everything they want.
Moreover
,
celebrities
could receive special treatment everywhere they go such as special tables at restaurants, special seats at theaters, or others.

On the contrary
, the
famous
is not as gorgeous as which in
people’s
imagination.
Obviously
,
celebrities
will have no privacy;
for example
, every detail about them, their family or their
love
life could be the talk of the town.
In addition
,
famous
people
could
be followed
by a stalker who will follow them, bother them, or break into their
house
.
Furthermore
,
celebrities
always
have to
behave
perfectly
and if they
make
a
small
mistake, they will
be judged
and criticized by abundant of person. This situation could put them at
risk
of pressure and have a mental illness.

All things considered, fame is not fabulous and
people
have to
trade plentiful things to be
famous
.
Therefore
, it is better to be the average person
because
fame could cause
negative
consequence.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe the steps, through which you once learned a new thing and explain how you learned it. Include details and examples in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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