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Some people prefer to finish reading a book once. Others prefer to finish reading a book for several times. Which way do you prefer and why? v.1

Some people prefer to finish reading a book once. Others prefer to finish reading a book for several times. Which way do you prefer and why? v. 1
Obesity is one of most common problem people are facing currently. Some people argue that a raise in the price of food which make people overweight can resolve this issue while others think in different directions; however, I oppose this view. In my view, this problem cannot be solved via an increase in the price because of people eating habits and not having money crunch. To start with, People love to eat their choices of food. Firstly, Even if government increase taxes, which result of increases the price of fattening food, then also people eat whatever they want to eat because of the eating habits. People who eat fast food like pizza, sub-ways or cold drinks because they love to eat or drink them, no matter those things making them fat. For example, According to a survey from The Times of India, 90 percent of people choose their favourite food without concern their health. So, needless to say, People will choose what they want to eat, even if there are increase in price. Secondly, People do not bother prices of food. In todays world, People have lots of money to spend and increases in the price would not affect them badly. Such people can pay a bit extra as well. In this era, people have a high monthly budget for their food compare to the past, where they earn a less amount and result of that having less money to spend on food. For example, According to a research paper in Kurukshetra university, 60 percent of the people have more than 2000 dollar a month for their food. And such a huge amount of money cannot stop people to eat fast food despite a raisin the price. In conclusion, People love to eat of their choice and having a huge amount money to spend for their food needs so increase in price would not solve this problem.
Obesity is one of most common problem
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people
are facing
currently
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
argue that a raise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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people
overweight can resolve this issue while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
directions;
however
, I oppose this view. In my view, this problem cannot
be solved
via an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eating habits and not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
crunch.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
their choices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, Even if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
taxes, which result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of fattening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, then
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
whatever they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the eating habits.
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People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like pizza, sub-ways or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
drinks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
or drink them, no matter those things making them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
For example
, According to a survey from The Times of India, 90 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
without concern their health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, needless to say,
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People
will choose what they want to
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eat
, even if there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in price.

Secondly
,
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People
do not bother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
would not affect them
badly
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pay a bit extra
as well
. In this era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a high monthly budget for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
compare to the past, where they earn a less amount and result of that having less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, According to a research paper in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kurukshetra
university, 60 percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more than 2000 dollar a month for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. And such a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
despite a raisin the price.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
of their choice and having a huge amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
would not solve this problem.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to finish reading a book once. Others prefer to finish reading a book for several times. Which way do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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