Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe something you own which is very important to you. You should say: where you got it from how long you have had it what you use it for and explain why it is important to you. v.2

Describe something you own which is very important to you. You should say: where you got it from how long you have had it what you use it for and explain why it is important to you. v. 2
Children always fond of books. Some parents perceive that children can only spend their quality time on reading educational books because it’s a waste of time by reading entertainment books while others disagree. This essay will discuss the reason why I personally believe that it is significant for children to access a wide range of books rather than just educational books. There are various compelling reasons why children should spend more time on reading and the prominent one is that reading plays a crucial role in shaping individual’s personality as youngsters tend to grasp knowledge and moral values more easily and effortlessly when they read books. To illustrate, a recent research conducted in Japan has revealed that nearly 80% of successful businessmen had developed the hobby of reading in their childhood which hugely benefited them in their career. For this reason, it is beneficial for the youth to read useful books. However, people need to realize that we can’t force children to read books that they are not interested in because it could bring some negative impacts associated with frustration or stress. Take myself for example, I always felt disappointed and frustrated when my parents asked me to read some boring, difficult but useful books when I was young. As can be seen, it also can be detrimental for children if they have to read educational books all the time. To sum up, it is believed by some people that children can only read useful books so recreational books are not allowed. Taking everything into consideration, I’m inclined to say that some entertainment books can be given to children as long as parents gives the proper guidance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
always fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents perceive that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spend their quality time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s a waste of time by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
while others disagree. This essay will discuss the reason why I
personally
believe that it is significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to access a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
educational books.

There are various compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should spend more time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and the prominent one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
plays a crucial role in shaping individual’s personality as youngsters tend to grasp knowledge and moral values more
easily
and
effortlessly
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. To illustrate, a recent research conducted in Japan has revealed that
nearly
80% of successful businessmen had developed the hobby of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
in their childhood which
hugely
benefited them in their career.
For this reason
, it is beneficial for the youth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
useful books.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to realize that we can’t force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that they are not interested in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts associated with frustration or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Take myself
for example
, I always felt disappointed and frustrated when my parents asked me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
boring, difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
when I was young. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, it
also
can be detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
all the time.

To sum up, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
. Taking everything into consideration, I’m inclined to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as long as parents gives the proper guidance.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe something you own which is very important to you. You should say: where you got it from how long you have had it what you use it for and explain why it is important to you. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts