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Some scientists think it is very soon that computers will be more intelligent than human. Some people think it is a positive development, while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some scientists think it is very soon that computers will be more intelligent than human. Some people think it is a positive development, while others think it is a negative development. v. 1
Setting a retirement age has always been a debatable issue. While some opine that individuals after reaching the age of 65 years should be restrained from working, others believe that such restriction is useless, and hence, should not be imposed. This essay will discuss both views and will argue in favour that restriction associated with age is impractical as it will restrict the most knowledgeable and productive employees of the organisation, from performing their duties. It is clear that aged employees is beneficial for the organisation as they have invaluable work experience that can be used in increasing the productivity and proitability. This is to say, older people have inculcated various skills, knowledge and understanding through their years of work, thus, they can help with providing optimal decisions in various fields. To elucidate, a recent study done by The Times showed that organisations are successful, if they do not force any retirement rules on their workforce. However, some disagree with this notion and believe that companies should have the policy to retire grey hair people as they suffer from various health issues. In other words, elderlies have health problems, such as diabetes, osteoporosis, joint pains and blood pressure, which restricts them from performing their tasks actively and efficaciously. Thus, they are considered as a liability for a company. Hence, they should discontinue working. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times showed that more than 80 percent of management staff state that older people should be retired from the company. To conclude, while the benefit of working in older age is a positive trend as they are an asset to companies with their boundless erudition, while some still feel that they should not be allowed to work as they suffer from physical problems. However, I vehemently agree that people above the age of 65 must be authorized to work because of their level of understanding and expertise which is rewarding and fruitful for companies.
Setting a retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
has always been a debatable issue. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that individuals after reaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 65 years should
be restrained
from working, others believe that such restriction is useless, and
hence
, should not
be imposed
. This essay will discuss both views and will argue in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
that restriction associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is impractical as it will restrict the most knowledgeable and productive employees of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, from performing their duties.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that aged employees is beneficial for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
as they have invaluable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in increasing the productivity and
Possible spelling mistake found.
proitability
. This is to say, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have inculcated various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, knowledge and understanding through their years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
thus
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with providing optimal decisions in various fields. To elucidate, a recent study done by The Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are successful, if they do not force any retirement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on their workforce.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree with this notion and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should have the policy to retire
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they suffer from various health issues.
In other words
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
elderlies
have health problems, such as diabetes, osteoporosis, joint pains and blood pressure, which restricts them from performing their tasks
actively
and
efficaciously
.
Thus
, they
are considered
as a liability for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Hence
, they should discontinue working. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 80 percent of management staff state that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be retired
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To conclude
, while the benefit of working in older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend as they are an asset to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with their boundless erudition, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
feel that they should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they suffer from physical problems.
However
, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 65
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be authorized
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their level of understanding and expertise which is rewarding and fruitful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some scientists think it is very soon that computers will be more intelligent than human. Some people think it is a positive development, while others think it is a negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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