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Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think that it is good, while others think it has some disadvantages. Discuss both views. v.20

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think that it is good, while others think it has some disadvantages. v. 20
Today’s world, sponsoring sports clubs and players has become an effective way of advertisement of companies and their products. There are those who believe that this method has a significant impact on companies and society, others think it is not. This essay will examine both sides of the argument. On the one hand, as an advertisement method of funding sports contains several benefits for companies, players, sports clubs, and also society. Firstly, in point of view of benefits for companies, this method offers them to introduce their products in the market. Nowadays, many people admire some athletes who are successful in their sport field and tend to imitate those players’ behaviours, lifestyle, and even their style of dress. These people’s preferences may be affected by these athletes, for example, if a person has admirable feelings to an athlete, they could purchase products which are provided by companies to athletes by sponsoring them. As a result, this could provide companies to increase in income. Secondly, this method could also benefit for the society. For illustration, sport clubs can use this money given by companies to improve their sports facilities which may give a significant chance to train the future’s young athletes. On the other hand, there could be also disadvantages, especially for companies. Companies can be negatively affected by the behaviours of sponsored players. If an athlete commits a crime, such as drug using, there will be a lot of news circulating in the media, which makes people have disgusting feelings toward that player. Thus, this may lead to damage the company’s reputation among the public and business environment. Furthermore, the company might have had to signed of the advertisement contract, so the money spent on this contract will be wasted. In conclusion, there are several reasons, whether sponsor sports as an advertisement method is beneficial for companies or if it contains more disadvantages than benefits, as discussed above.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s world, sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
has become an effective way of
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and their products. There are those who believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
has a significant impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and society, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not. This essay will examine both sides of the argument.

On the one hand, as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
contains several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs, and
also
society.
Firstly
, in point of view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
offers them to introduce their products in the market. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
admire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
who are successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
field and tend to imitate those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, lifestyle, and even their style of dress. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s preferences may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
,
for example
, if a person has admirable feelings to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products which
are provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
by sponsoring them.
As a result
, this could provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to increase in income.
Secondly
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
for the society. For illustration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
clubs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities which may give a significant chance to train the future’s young athletes.

On the other hand
, there could be
also
disadvantages,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
can be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of sponsored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
commits a crime, such as drug using, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
news circulating in the media, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have disgusting feelings toward that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
.
Thus
, this may lead to damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
reputation among the public and business environment.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
might have had to signed of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
contract,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the money spent on this contract will
be wasted
.

In conclusion
, there are several reasons, whether sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or if it contains more disadvantages than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, as discussed above.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think that it is good, while others think it has some disadvantages. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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