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Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree v.6

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 6
Many people choose to become vegetarians since a vegetarian diet is believed to be better for the human body. Although I agree that eating only plant foods provides us with a healthier diet, I do not believe that everyone should stop eating meat in order to enjoy good health. There are a variety of reasons why becoming a vegetarian is beneficial. Firstly, science has proven that vegetarians have lower risks of developing several chronic illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, some forms of cancer and obesity. This is due to the fact that a healthy vegetarian diet is typically low in fat and high in fiber. Secondly, eating vegetables properly gives us adequate nutrition to support our bodies. For example, raw spinach is a great source of Vitamins A, K, E as well as calcium. As a result, instead of eating many kinds of food to get these vitamins, we only need a bowl of spinach. However, there are some disadvantages to take into consideration before becoming a vegetarian. Perhaps the principal one is that if a vegetarian’s daily meals are not properly balanced, he or she might suffer from a lack of calories to meet his or her energy needs. Consequently, they will feel lethargic and unable to do anything energetic. In addition, food which is eaten raw, steamed or stir-fried retains more vitamins and minerals than that which is boiled in water or deep-fried. Thus, culinary traditions such as those in Vietnam are the most advisable ones to follow in preparing vegetarian meals. Vegetarians brought up using Western cooking methods should, therefore, either change their cooking style or else adopt a non-vegetarian diet. In conclusion, although healthy, a vegetarian diet is not for everyone and it requires care in the choice of foods and preparation of meals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to become vegetarians since a vegetarian diet
is believed
to be better for the human body. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
plant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
provides us with a healthier diet, I do not believe that everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
meat in order to enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.

There are a variety of reasons why becoming a vegetarian is beneficial.
Firstly
, science has proven that vegetarians have lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of developing several chronic illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
forms of cancer and obesity.
This is due to the fact that
a healthy vegetarian diet is
typically
low in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and high in fiber.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
vegetables
properly
gives us adequate nutrition to support our bodies.
For example
, raw spinach is a great source of Vitamins A, K, E
as well
as calcium.
As a result
,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
Did you mean "foods"?
food
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
these vitamins, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need a bowl of spinach.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to take into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
becoming a vegetarian. Perhaps the principal one is that if a vegetarian’s daily meals are not
properly
balanced, he or she might suffer from a lack of calories to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
energy needs.
Consequently
, they will feel lethargic and unable to do anything energetic.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
is eaten
raw, steamed or stir-fried retains more vitamins and minerals than that which
is boiled
in water or deep-fried.
Thus
, culinary traditions such as those in Vietnam are the most advisable ones to follow in preparing vegetarian meals. Vegetarians brought up using Western cooking methods should,
therefore
, either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their cooking style or else adopt a non-vegetarian diet.

In conclusion
, although healthy, a vegetarian diet is not for everyone and it requires care in the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and preparation of meals.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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