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Describe an interesting neighbour of yours Please say Who is your neighbour How did you meet him her How often do you see the neighbour v.1

Describe an interesting neighbour of yours Please say Who is your neighbour How did you meet him her How often do you see the neighbour v. 1
Health quality is a basic need for people in all societies, regardless of their financial status that governments are responsible for providing enough health care facilities for all of its citizens. I totally agree with that government should offer health care for all people in different financial levels as health care it is a significant factor for every person. First of all, caring of people’s health is an essential necessity in all countries that governments are responsible for providing health care for all people; additionally, health care facility is the right of all citizens poor or rich. For example, in my country Iran rich citizens have far better wellness facilities, treatment and diagnosis in contrast of poor people because government does not supply equal health care facilities for all residents. On the other hand, health care is a vital and primary need in all countries because health status of people has a significant effect on the economy. Therefore, it is so important people are in a healthy status in their life. For instance, in Japan authorities supply equal wellness support to everyone because the Japanese government wants to prevent their public from mortality rate and increases their country’s efficiency beside improve their economy with offer same health care for people with different levels. To summarize, providing health care for people in a community is a right of all people and ensuring quality health care facilities to all the citizens of a country. Hence, supporting physical and mental strength of residents of the country is a responsibility that no government can deny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
quality is a basic need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all societies, regardless of their financial status that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are responsible for providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities for all of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
financial levels as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
it is a significant factor for every person.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, caring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is an essential necessity in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are responsible for providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facility is the right of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
poor or rich.
For example
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Iran rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
have far better wellness facilities, treatment and diagnosis
in contrast
of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not supply equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities for all residents.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is a vital and primary need in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has a significant effect on the economy.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in a healthy status in their life.
For instance
, in Japan authorities supply equal wellness support to everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their public from mortality rate and increases their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
efficiency beside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their economy with offer same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels.

To summarize
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a community is a right of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and ensuring quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Hence
, supporting physical and mental strength of residents of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a responsibility that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can deny
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe an interesting neighbour of yours Please say Who is your neighbour How did you meet him her How often do you see the neighbour v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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