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Where is your favorite place to study? Describe this place and say why it is a good place for you to study. v.1

Where is your favorite place to study? Describe this place and say why it is a good place for you to study. v. 1
The majority of people consider adolescents getting involved in part-time works during their off time as a positive growth, because it aids the students to be self sufficient. However, others oppose this as it may lead them to lose their interest in academics. Even though there are a few demerits to this development, I believe part-time jobs need to be encouraged as they not only aid them to be more independent but also make them familiar with the real world. Most of the countries nowadays are providing opportunities for Youth to pursue part-time career in parallel with their studies. This enables the students to earn their living expenses and also gather hands on experience which increases their confidence levels. For instance, most of the part-timers tend to manage their living cost, including tuition fees from their earnings, which in turn reduces the economic burden on their families, particularly low income groups. Therefore, students can become self sustained and actively pursue their dreams. On the other hand, some people argue that earning money at the tender age makes them neglect their studies and provokes to earn more by sidetracking academics. This in turn leads them to drop out of school. Studies say that part-time culture is one of the significant reasons for the rise in high school dropouts. Hence, to tackle this problem, they believe that there needs to be a restriction on allowing part-time works. In conclusion, students need to be encouraged to do part-time jobs if their family background requires it. However, their parents must ensure that their studies are not affected by their job.
The majority of
people
consider adolescents getting involved in part-time works during their off time as a
positive
growth,
because
it aids the
students
to be
self sufficient
.
However
, others oppose this as it may lead them to lose their interest in academics.
Even though
there are a few demerits to this development, I believe part-time jobs need to
be encouraged
as they not
only
aid them to be more independent
but
also
make
them familiar with the real world.

Most of the countries nowadays are providing opportunities for

Youth to pursue part-time career in parallel with their
studies
. This enables the
students
to earn their living expenses and
also
gather hands on experience which increases their confidence levels.
For instance
, most of the part-timers tend to manage their living cost, including tuition fees from their earnings, which in turn
reduces
the economic burden on their families,
particularly
low income groups.
Therefore
,
students
can become
self sustained
and
actively
pursue their dreams.

On the other hand
,
some
people
argue that earning money at the tender age
makes
them neglect their
studies
and provokes

to
earn more by sidetracking academics. This in turn leads them to drop out of school.
Studies
say that part-time culture is one of the significant reasons for the rise in high school dropouts.
Hence
, to tackle this problem, they believe that there needs to be a restriction on allowing part-time works.

In conclusion
,
students
need to
be encouraged
to do part-time jobs if their family background requires it.
However
, their parents
must
ensure that their
studies
are not
affected
by their job.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Where is your favorite place to study? Describe this place and say why it is a good place for you to study. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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