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Describe a resource that helped you to do something better than before. Describe it and explain why it was helpful to you. v.1

Describe a resource that helped you to do something better than before. Describe it and explain why it was helpful to you. v. 1
Firstly, some data may be unverifiable. For example, every time they search for a data, there would be lots of choices that would appear on the screen. They would not be sure if the information they are reading is accurate. Some sources may even have outdated information. Secondly, some sites may be unreliable. For instance, people sign up on one site that sells goods online. The goods would be paid for with a credit card, but the purchaser would not receive anything. And finally, not everything is available through the net. When my friend had tried to research for some pictures of 18th century paintings, he did not find any results. Then he was told by his teacher that they would only be available in the library. Others believe that the Internet is very useful and these are the justifications. Firstly, it is hard to get the same data, that is available through the Internet by other means. For example, if the directory information could not give me the accurate address and contact number of a place I want to visit, I normally check that information on the Internet. In just one click, I would get all the details of that certain company. Secondly, research becomes more comprehensive. For instance, I do not have to buy lots of reading materials to complete my research. Most of the needed information can be found if I have Internet access. And finally, data are easily compared and contrasted. I remember, my cousin researched a study about overweight children a decade ago and at present. He was able to finish his research in just one day, as compared to a week if he would not use the Internet. In conclusion, let me reiterate that the Internet plays a big role in our life, because it makes data retrieval and comparison easier.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
may be unverifiable.
For example
, every time they search for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
, there would be lots of choices that would appear on the screen. They would not be sure if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they are reading is accurate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sources may even have outdated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sites may be unreliable.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
up on one site that sells
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
online. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
would
be paid
for with a credit card,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the purchaser would not receive anything. And
finally
, not everything is available through the net. When my friend had tried to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pictures of 18th century paintings, he did not find any results. Then he was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by his teacher that they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be available in the library.

Others believe that the Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful and these are the justifications.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
,
that is
available through the Internet by other means.
For example
, if the directory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
could not give me the accurate address and contact number of a place I want to visit, I
normally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the Internet. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of that certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
becomes more comprehensive.
For instance
, I do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
lots of reading materials to complete my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. Most of the needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be found
if I have Internet access. And
finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
are
easily
compared and contrasted. I remember, my cousin researched a study about overweight children a decade ago and at present. He was able to finish his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one day, as compared to a week if he would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me reiterate that the Internet plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
retrieval and comparison easier.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a resource that helped you to do something better than before. Describe it and explain why it was helpful to you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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