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PART 3Discussion topics: Purpose of festivals and celebrationsExample questions: Why do you think festivals are important events in the working year? Would you agree that the original significance of festivals is often lost today? Is it good or bad, do you t v.1

PART 3Discussion topics: Purpose of festivals and celebrationsExample questions: Why do you think festivals are important events in the working year? Would you agree that the original significance of festivals is often lost today? Is it good or bad, do you t v. 1
In the recent era, technology became so vast that it provides a boost to the online shopping. Due to the sudden change in the e - commerce market, people have started buying things online instead of buying through local markets. However, I personally doesn’t fully satisfied with this change that it will affect the local vendors. The first and the major reason behind this is that people prefer to shop during their leisure time and in today’s world also many of them will prefer to go to shopping in big malls. For example, plethora of women like window shopping and they would like to visit outlets and personally want to try items before buying. Sometimes, they may have size issues and in online shopping the images shown are many times not accurate with the colour and mentioned measurements differs a lot of times. Moreover, people consider shopping in malls and local markets as an outing and to get out of work mode they want to go somewhere out. Nowadays, many shopping centres has food courts and playing area for kids, which result in people prefer to go for outing in malls. Apart from that, people have trust issues while buying things online. In rural areas, people believe more in local vendor products than the electronically ordering things. Even women bargain with local business owners if they found a similar product at lesser cost. Due to lack of technology in many areas, people don’t invest in buying things online. Therefore, the preference of local people will help local shops to exist in cities and towns. On the whole, on one hand technology has made life of many working class people simpler and youth prefer to get things digitally. Other than this different people prefer to go to shopping complexes and retail outlets which will not be affected by this trend. .
In the recent era, technology became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
vast that it provides a boost to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Due to the sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the e
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
commerce market,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets.
However
, I
personally
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "don’t"
doesn’t
fully
The verb 'doesn't' requires base form of this verb: "satisfy"
satisfied
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that it will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendors.

The
first
and the major reason behind this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to shop during their leisure time and in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
malls.
For example
, plethora of women like window
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shopping and
they would like to visit outlets and
personally
want to try items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, they may have size issues and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
the images shown are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times not accurate with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
and mentioned measurements differs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
times.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in malls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets as an outing and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of work mode they want to go somewhere out. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
has food courts and playing area for kids, which result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to go for outing in malls.

Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have trust issues while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In rural areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendor products than the
electronically
ordering things. Even women bargain with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business owners if they found a similar product at lesser cost. Due to lack of technology in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Therefore
, the preference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops to exist in cities and towns.

On the whole
, on one hand technology has made life of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
simpler and youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
things
digitally
. Other than this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
complexes and retail outlets which will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this trend.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay PART 3Discussion topics: Purpose of festivals and celebrationsExample questions: Why do you think festivals are important events in the working year? Would you agree that the original significance of festivals is often lost today? Is it good or bad, do you t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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