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Describe an event in history that you would like to learn more about. Explain the reasons why you want to learn about it. v.1

Describe an event in history that you would like to learn more about. Explain the reasons why you want to learn about it. v. 1
Quality of life represents how healthy human beings are living and how they are maintaining their living style, though it’s hard to believe that mostly living in the metropolitan cities people are getting a rid of quality from their living cycles. There are a number of causes and solution which we are going to discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. Dealing with these causes it has been observed that there are many issues which diverts the human mind even force them to spend degraded entity. Lifestyle of richest persons is one of main influenced factor which generate tinkling in the mind of the other to achieve these heights. So, people started giving more preference to money rather than to social circle, it is observed that these citizens even don’t have a time for their family. There is an article published by Times magazine that a huge increase in people count has been observed those are surviving under debt, which is provided either by banks or other independent firm just for fulfilling their materialistic dreams. There is one more concept turns out which states that the increased pressure of work schedule and target achievements of private companies affects the quality standard of metropolitans, therefore they are getting away from their culture and family. What could be the situations can arise which act as the solution for these devastating issues? Firstly, proper planning in terms of finance has to be done by the family in together so they could lead a neat and tidy living as well a kind concern for saving ought to be the first preferences. Secondly, scheduling could be a laborious task, but it always gives you eternal happiness if you got a free hour for oneself and family, even researchers believe that during this period person can rejuvenate oneself from all the problems. Conclusively, I want to say that there is no doubt in a degraded life of metropolitan citizens due fast pace and eager to earn more in less time, but this could be manageable if proper planning has adopted by the person.
Quality of life represents how healthy human beings are
living
and how they are maintaining their
living
style, though it’s
hard
to believe that
mostly
living
in the metropolitan cities
people
are getting a rid of quality from their
living
cycles. There are a number of causes and solution which we are going to discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

Dealing with these causes it has
been observed
that there are
many
issues which diverts the human mind even force them to spend degraded entity. Lifestyle of
richest
persons is one of main influenced factor which generate tinkling in the mind of the other to achieve these heights.
So
,
people
started
giving more preference to money
rather
than to social circle, it
is observed
that these citizens even don’t have a time for their family.

There is an article published by Times magazine that a huge increase in
people
count has
been observed
those are surviving under debt, which
is provided
either by banks or other independent firm
just
for fulfilling their materialistic dreams. There is one more concept turns out which states that the increased pressure of work schedule and target achievements of private
companies
affects the quality standard of metropolitans,
therefore
they are getting away from their culture and family.

What could be the situations can arise which act as the solution for these devastating issues?
Firstly
, proper planning in terms of finance
has to
be done
by the family in together
so
they could lead a neat and tidy
living
as well
a kind concern for saving ought to be the
first
preferences.
Secondly
, scheduling could be a laborious task,
but
it always gives you eternal happiness if you
got
a free hour for oneself and family, even researchers believe that during this period person can rejuvenate oneself from all the problems.

Conclusively
, I want to say that there is no doubt in a degraded life of metropolitan citizens due
fast
pace and eager to earn more in less time,
but
this could be manageable if proper planning has adopted by the person.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe an event in history that you would like to learn more about. Explain the reasons why you want to learn about it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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