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The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant v.1

The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009
There is no refuting the fact that money is one of the most important factors in a person’s life. It has been argued vociferously that one should pick a job which pays you more even if you are not content with the job. I downright disagree with this opinion and deem that job satisfaction is much more essential than the amount of wages. Ab-initio, I believe that no matter how much high your salary is, it cannot Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction provide a sense of fulfilment. Despite the fact that a person is making good money, if he/she is stressed with the nature of his/her duties, this person would not relish his work. On the contrary, pursuing your ambitions and working for it would make work a child’s play and bring a sense of joy in one’s life. Furthermore, doing what your heart aches for also makes you put in extra effort and result in career growth advancement. Put differently, job satisfaction is directly proportional to productivity. Employees who love their job are generally the one who triumph more than those who toil only for money. For example, Elon Musk sold ‘PayPal’ and invested all his wealth into businesses which he thought would lead to a better and more advanced world. He was on the verge of going bankrupt, but instead of giving up, he endeavoured for his dreams and today, he is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world. The gist of the matter is that there are enough examples present around us which points to the fact that job satisfaction weighs much heavy as compared to the money one makes.
There is no refuting the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors in a person’s life. It has
been argued
vociferously
that one should pick a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which pays you more even if you are not content with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I downright disagree with this opinion and deem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more essential than the amount of wages.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ab-initio
, I believe that no matter how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
high your salary is, it cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
salary is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
provide a sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
. Despite the fact that a person is making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, if he/she is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
with the nature of his/her duties, this person would not relish his work.
On the contrary
, pursuing your ambitions and working for it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
work a child’s play and bring a sense of joy in one’s life.
Furthermore
, doing what your heart aches for
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you put in extra effort and result in career growth advancement. Put
differently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
directly
proportional to productivity.

Employees who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are
generally
the one who triumph more than those who toil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, Elon Musk sold ‘PayPal’ and invested all his wealth into businesses which he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
would lead to a better and more advanced world. He was on the verge of going bankrupt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
of giving up, he
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavoured' is British English.
endeavoured
for his dreams and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, he is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world.

The gist of the matter is that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
examples present around us which points to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
weighs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
heavy as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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