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Describe an adertisement you have seen or read recently that made you want to buy something. you should say: where you saw or read itwhich product it was triying to sellwhat you liked about itand you should also say whether or not advetising influences you v.1

Describe an adertisement you have seen or read recently that made you want to buy something. you should say: where you saw or read itwhich product it was triying to sellwhat you liked about itand you should also say whether or not advetising influences you v. 1
The requirements from industry, economy, and the development of population, human have harnessed the nature of the most unkind methods. Throughout these processes, nature was damaged seriously, especially the decline of biodiversity and the loss of ecosystem. However, I will articulate many solutions that can apply to protect the biodiversity in impending context followed by relevant epitomes. To begin with, Governments should use the advances of science and medicine on preservation. If controlling the reproduction and the fertility rate of flora and fauna are successful people will have abilities to save some species on the verge of extinction.  Similarly, governments should pass a law to reduce activities that threat the habitats nature. Some sources of damaging to the environment such as overgrazing, oil spills, and indiscriminate logging resulted in limiting the nature territories of animals. Therefore, not only severely punish those who have been unfriendly to the environment, but governments of different countries should also co-operate to build an international law system about conserving nature. The final, but the most important answer is education. When introducing some subjects related to biology and ecology, educational institutions can highlight the vital role of biodiversity. Furthermore, media should show the serious repercussion of the loss of long-term sustainability. Education is the best method in improving awareness of community in issues which require both governments and individuals handle together. In conclusion, no matter how much the demands of people are, we have a balance between our needs and the importance of nature world with our civilization. It is the critical time to perceive and do actions for protecting the beauty of biodiversity.
The requirements from industry, economy, and the development of population, human have harnessed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
of the most unkind methods. Throughout these processes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
was damaged
seriously
,
especially
the decline of biodiversity and the loss of ecosystem.
However
, I will articulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions that can apply to protect the biodiversity in impending context followed by relevant epitomes.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the advances of science and medicine on preservation. If controlling the reproduction and the fertility rate of flora and fauna are successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have abilities to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species on the verge of extinction.  
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should pass a law to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
activities that threat the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "habitats'" or "habitat's"?
habitats
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sources of damaging to the environment such as overgrazing, oil spills, and indiscriminate logging resulted in limiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
territories of animals.
Therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
severely
punish those who have been
unfriendly
to the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries should
also
co-operate to build an international law system about conserving nature.

The final,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
answer is education. When introducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subjects related to biology and ecology, educational institutions can highlight the vital role of biodiversity.
Furthermore
, media should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the serious repercussion of the loss of long-term sustainability. Education is the best method in improving awareness of community in issues which require both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals handle together.

In conclusion
, no matter how much the demands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are, we have a balance between our needs and the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
world with our civilization. It is the critical time to perceive and do actions for protecting the beauty of biodiversity.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Describe an adertisement you have seen or read recently that made you want to buy something. you should say: where you saw or read itwhich product it was triying to sellwhat you liked about itand you should also say whether or not advetising influences you v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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