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210 describe something you don't have how but would really like to own in the future. you should say-what this thing ishow long you have wanted to own itwhere you first saw itand explain why you would like to own it v.1

210 describe something you don't have how but would really like to own in the future. you should say-what this thing ishow long you have wanted to own itwhere you first saw itand explain why you would like to own it v. 1
Wearing a uniform at workplace is a great idea and it is becoming more popular in today 's trend. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of wearing homogeneous clothes on the job. There is a plethora of benefits of wearing uniform. First of all, when employees wear them, they feel discipline, which is the most imperative role in any company 's growth. After that, if an organisation has an inflexible clothing policy, then it is a good walking advertisement. For instance, employees finish their job, went out, everyone can see the logo of the company and the name of the company, which is a free advertisement. Then, having a uniform, can be time saving. For example, in the morning, there will no confusion of 'what to wear'. Furthermore, an orderly clothing creates team unity, workers act as a team and working as a team to produce more products. On the other hand, the duty clothes are always come with security and safety. To illustrate, a factory worker cannot wear a tie, he/she have to wear simple and protective clothes. Last but not the least, it can be budget friendly, employees do not need to spent money on shopping clothes for work. The drawbacks are that it can be boring, normally folks do not like to wear the same clothes every day. Because change is a law of nature. Also, a regular clothing can effected on person's self expression and the individual. Thus, people have their own choices. Finally, if employees do not comfortable in their uniforms, there might be declining in production. To conclude, I would like to say that a dress code is very essential these days in the workplace and there are many advantages and disadvantages of systematic clothes in the management.
Wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
at workplace is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and it is becoming more popular in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's trend. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of wearing homogeneous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
on the job.

There is a plethora of benefits of wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
them, they feel discipline, which is the most imperative role in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's growth. After that, if an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
has an inflexible clothing policy, then it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
walking advertisement.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
finish their job, went out, everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the logo of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and the name of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, which is a free advertisement. Then, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
, can be time saving.
For example
, in the morning, there will no confusion of 'what to wear'.

Furthermore
, an orderly clothing creates team unity, workers act as a team and working as a team to produce more products.
On the other hand
, the duty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with security and safety. To illustrate, a factory worker cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a tie, he/she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
simple and protective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, it can be budget friendly,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not need to spent money on shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
for work.

The drawbacks are that it can be boring,
normally
folks do not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
every day.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is a law of nature.
Also
, a regular clothing can effected on person's
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self expression
and the individual.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices.
Finally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not comfortable in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
, there might be declining in production.

To conclude
, I would like to say that a dress code is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "essentially"?
essential
these days in the workplace and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantages of systematic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
in the management.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay 210 describe something you don't have how but would really like to own in the future. you should say-what this thing ishow long you have wanted to own itwhere you first saw itand explain why you would like to own it v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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