Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe a time you learned something new about someone you know well. Be sure to include specific examples in your response. v.1

Describe a time you learned something new about someone you know well. Be sure to include specific examples in your response. v. 1
In some nations, the public feels more scared of crime, even though the number of criminal incidents is statistically lower than before. This essay points out the media’s contribution in spreading fear as a cause of this, and suggests balanced news as a remedy. People’s fear of crimes has increased because the media has multiplied multiply the scary effects of incidents that have happened in a part of a country by broadcasting news of them nationally. Although it might not be on purpose, this has spread fear over individuals who live in faraway locations from where these incidents have taken took place. For example, the recent mosque shootings in Christchurch, New Zealand, were covered by many television stations and broadcasted all over the country. As a result, Muslims who live in Auckland, Wellington and other cities were are afraid of going to their mosques, despite the fact that it was the first tragedy during the last few decades for the nation. In order to not spreading fear through crime news, the media ought to balance the coverage of violations which have occurred with officials’ efforts to prevent the same incident from being repeated. This way can assure people that they will not become the next victims of the same type of crime and help them to feel safe again. For example, a recent survey by Transport for London found that 95% of female commuters were no longer afraid to use the metro at night after the police announced that 44 members of a rapist gang who usually committed their crimes on public transportation had been arrested. In conclusion, the media is responsible for making people feel less secure by broadcasting news about serious crimes nationally. However, they may use a similar way to publish preventive actions to the crimes as a counter-effect.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, the public feels more scared of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
even though
the number of criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
is
statistically
lower than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This essay points out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media’s
contribution in spreading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
as a cause of this, and suggests balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as a remedy.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has multiplied multiply the scary effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
that have happened in a part of a country by broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of them
nationally
. Although it might not be on purpose, this has spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
over individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in faraway locations from where these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
have taken took place.
For example
, the recent mosque shootings in Christchurch,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand,
were covered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
television stations and broadcasted all over the country.
As a result
, Muslims who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Auckland, Wellington and other cities were are afraid of going to their mosques, despite the fact that it was the
first
tragedy during the last few decades for the nation.

In order to not spreading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
ought to balance the coverage of violations which have occurred with officials’ efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incident
from
being repeated
. This way can assure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that they will not become the
next
victims of the same type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to feel safe again.
For example
, a recent survey by Transport for London found that 95% of female commuters were no longer afraid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the metro at night after the police announced that 44 members of a rapist gang who
usually
committed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
on public transportation had
been arrested
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is responsible for making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel less secure by broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
nationally
.
However
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a similar way to publish preventive actions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as a counter-effect.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a time you learned something new about someone you know well. Be sure to include specific examples in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts