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Describe a time when you helped someone. You should say: who you helped and whyHow you helped this personWhat the result wasAnd explain how you felt about helping this person. v.1

Describe a time when you helped someone. You should say: who you helped and whyHow you helped this personWhat the result wasAnd explain how you felt about helping this person. v. 1
In the modern world, our lives are evolving at a faster pace and have an effect on our social relationship with people. This essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of this trend. To begin with, the primary merit of the above mentioned issue is that with the advancement in the technology, it has become more accessible to communicate with people from all over the world on the internet, which is changing our lives enormously at a faster pace. Furthermore, people have made a mindset in the society, that it is not mandatory to meet one another, but they can be connected via social media networks. To illustrate, a survey recently carried out, by the special task members stated that more than 80% of people prefer to maintain their relationship with their relatives and friends on the internet rather than meeting face to face. In contrast, the primary demerit of this matter which is misinformation and ignoring is considered to be the main cause behind quarrels among relatives. Many individuals did not talk with each other for years because of small misunderstandings. The main demerit of this problem, is that the young generations are getting separated from their parents, which is affecting their relationship negatively and creating disputes among themselves. For instance, a report submitted by the communication department stated that there was nearly 65% rise in the people, who said that they prefer being alone in their homes rather than going out to meet their relatives. In conclusion, this essay discussed why our lives are rapidly changing has its own benefits, but why the factors which are adversely affecting our relationships is ultimately superior to me the disadvantages outweigh the advantages in a huge way.
In the modern world, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are evolving at a faster pace and have an effect on our social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of this trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the primary merit of the above mentioned issue is that with the advancement in the technology, it has become more accessible to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world on the internet, which is changing our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
enormously
at a faster pace.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have made a mindset in the society, that it is not mandatory to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
one another,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
be connected
via social media networks. To illustrate, a survey recently carried out, by the special task members stated that more than 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with their relatives and friends on the internet
rather
than meeting face to face.

In contrast
, the primary demerit of this matter which is misinformation and ignoring
is considered
to be the main cause behind quarrels among relatives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals did not talk with each other for years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
misunderstandings. The main demerit of this problem, is that the young generations are getting separated from their parents, which is affecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
negatively
and creating disputes among themselves.
For instance
, a report submitted by the communication department stated that there was
nearly
65% rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who said that they prefer being alone in their homes
rather
than going out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their relatives.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed why our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
rapidly
changing has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why the factors which are
adversely
affecting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
is
ultimately
superior to me the disadvantages outweigh the advantages
Consider replacing "in a huge way" with the adverb for "huge"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a huge way
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a time when you helped someone. You should say: who you helped and whyHow you helped this personWhat the result wasAnd explain how you felt about helping this person. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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