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Describe a project or an assignment you did in your class and explain why it was important. Give details and examples in your response. v.1

Describe a project or an assignment you did in your class and explain why it was important. Give details and examples in your response. v. 1
Most of the people are of the opinion that children need to be given freedom to make their own choices on everyday matters that includes food, clothes, entertainment and so on will result in a community of individuals who thinks about their own wishes. On the other hand, some people think that, children taking their own decisions about such matters which affect them is important in their growth. As children are not as matured as their parents or elders, making their own decisions may be difficult for them. It may sometimes lead to taking the wrong path that may cause a damage to their future. Children these days are influenced by some violent activities due to TV or video games. If we let them take their own decisions in any serious matters may lead to any unforeseen situations. For instance, some children in Central Africa are free to take their own decisions. Taking this advantage, some people manipulate them and are trying to make them work for their own purposes which leads to the decrease in capacity of self-thinking or becoming more self-centred. Children who are given opportunity in making their own decisions that affect them the most, leaving other things to their elders are quite successful in their lives. Parents need to guide their children in a safe path for their bright future, but also need to respect the decisions made by their children. If a child wants to join in a course that their parents are not aware of, but thinks that this might help their child in achieving success, then they should agree to his/her decision and support them. This makes the child happy and gives energy to achieve success. In conclusion, there are many people who are afraid of letting their children take their own decisions because they care about their child’s future. But, in some cases, children should take suggestions or advices from their parents while parents need to respect the decisions made by their children which would help them to rise to the sky.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices on everyday matters that includes food, clothes, entertainment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on will result in a community of individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wishes.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
taking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
about such matters which affect them is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in their growth.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not as matured as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or elders, making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
may be difficult for them. It may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to taking the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path that may cause
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "damage".
a damage
to their future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
these days
are influenced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
violent activities due to TV or video games.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in any serious matters may lead to any unforeseen situations.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in Central Africa are free to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. Taking this advantage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
manipulate them and are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them work for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purposes which leads to the decrease in capacity of self-thinking or becoming more
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centred
.

Children who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opportunity in making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
that affect them the most, leaving other things to their elders are quite successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a safe path for their bright future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
made by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in a course that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not aware of,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in achieving success, then they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and support them. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
happy and gives energy to achieve success.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are afraid of letting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they care about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should take suggestions or advices from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
made by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to rise to the sky.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a project or an assignment you did in your class and explain why it was important. Give details and examples in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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