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Describe a journey that you went on by car You should say: When it wasWhere you wentWho you were withAnd you felt about the journey v.1

Describe a journey that you went on by car You should say: When it wasWhere you wentWho you were withAnd you felt about the journey v. 1
I strongly agree with this statement. Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. In this essay, I will express why I strongly agree. Furthermore, I will give relevant examples from knowledge and experience. To begin with, there are very critical sectors that require funding. In addition, society may benefit more from public investment. Firstly, health care services, which are far more important, can greatly improve if they receive larger amounts of money. For example, hospital equipment may be bought to treat patients. Moreover, healthier people can benefit more to the country. Thus, much more may be earned from the treated persons working. Therefore, the earnings will then be used for other industries such as entertainment. However, not only this, but health may be seen as something that 'Must' be helped as opposed to 'Can' be helped. Additionally, infrastructure services, which are more useful, shall vastly enhance if they were funded instead. For example, roads may be fixed. Moreover, companies, travel more easily and safely. In addition, traffic jams would diminish. As a result, goods such as 'Food' delivered must be more rapid. Subsequently, the economy would improve. Although, not only would roads be corrected, but other transportation vehicles would be advanced. In conclusion, hospitals requires finance and are more crucial to the community. Plus, infrastructure aids many people. As a consequence, government investment in the arts leads to losing revenue. I recommend that the national resources be utilized more effectively.
I
strongly
agree
with this statement.
Government
investment in the arts, such as music and
theatre
, is a waste of money. In this essay, I will express why I
strongly
agree
.
Furthermore
, I will give relevant examples from knowledge and experience. To
begin
with, there are
very
critical sectors that require funding.
In addition
, society may benefit more from public investment.

Firstly
, health care services, which are far more
important
, can
greatly
improve
if they receive larger amounts of money.
For example
, hospital equipment may be
bought
to treat patients.
Moreover
, healthier
people
can benefit more to the country.
Thus
, much more may
be earned
from the treated persons working.
Therefore
, the earnings will then be
used
for other industries such as entertainment.
However
, not
only
this,
but
health may be
seen
as something that '
Must
' be
helped
as opposed to 'Can' be
helped
.

Additionally
, infrastructure services, which are more useful, shall
vastly
enhance if they
were funded
instead
.
For example
, roads may be
fixed
.
Moreover
,
companies
, travel more
easily
and
safely
.
In addition
, traffic jams would diminish.
As a result
,
goods
such as 'Food' delivered
must
be more rapid.
Subsequently
, the economy would
improve
. Although, not
only
would roads
be corrected
,
but
other transportation vehicles would
be advanced
.

In conclusion
, hospitals requires finance and are more crucial to the community. Plus, infrastructure aids
many
people
. As a consequence,
government
investment in the arts leads to losing revenue. I recommend that the national resources
be utilized
more
effectively
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a journey that you went on by car You should say: When it wasWhere you wentWho you were withAnd you felt about the journey v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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