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Choose a person from your childhood. State why that person was significant to you. Give details and examples to support your choice. v.1

Choose a person from your childhood. State why that person was significant to you. Give details and examples to support your choice. v. 1
Recent decades have witnessed tremendous economic development; however, the gap between the richest and poorest nations remains considerable. Some people argue that the developed nations should assist underdeveloped ones with food and education. Alternatively, others believe it is best for the leaders of the poorer countries to solve their problems on their own. It cannot be denied that assistance to a poor country from a wealthy one could benefit both countries. For instance, providing aid might lead to better trade and diplomatic relationships. As a matter of fact, wealthy nations may benefit from access to natural resources, attractive investment opportunities, or even allies in security issues. Apart from being favorable, wealthy nations should help because many owe their prosperity to poorer nations from past exploitation, slavery, and colonialism. Needless to say, returning some wealth back to the countries it was ‘stolen’ from would be beneficial and the right thing to do. In contrast, there are people who believe that poorer nations should solve their own problems. They point out that such countries should avoid interference from wealthy countries because they must maintain independence. For example, a poor nation may lose the freedom to make some decisions and grow to depend on the aid they receive. Some argue that aid can lead to exploitation and wealthy nations may take advantage of access to resources or use the threat of stopping aid as a way to gain power. In conclusion, arguments can be made that assistance from a wealthy nation could be mutually beneficial as well as appropriate justice for past acts. However, it may also be said that poorer nations would benefit most from acting independently and not being in debt to wealthier ones. In my view, poorer nations should seek out aid because it may be the best chance for them to develop and catch up with those that are more advanced.
Recent decades have witnessed tremendous economic development;
however
, the gap between the richest and poorest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
remains considerable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should assist underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
with food and education.
Alternatively
, others believe it is best for the leaders of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to solve their problems on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

It cannot
be denied
that assistance to a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
one could benefit both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
might lead to better trade and diplomatic relationships. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
may benefit from access to natural resources, attractive investment opportunities, or even allies in security issues. Apart from being favorable,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
owe their prosperity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
from past exploitation, slavery, and colonialism. Needless to say, returning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wealth back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
it was ‘stolen’ from would be beneficial and the right thing to do.

In contrast
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should solve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems. They point out that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should avoid interference from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
maintain independence.
For example
, a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
may lose the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decisions and grow to depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
they receive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
can lead to exploitation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
may take advantage of access to resources or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the threat of stopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
as a way to gain power.

In conclusion
, arguments can
be made
that assistance from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
could be
mutually
beneficial
as well
as appropriate justice for past acts.
However
, it may
also
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
would benefit most from acting
independently
and not being in debt to wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should seek out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may be the best chance for them to develop and catch up with those that are more advanced.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Choose a person from your childhood. State why that person was significant to you. Give details and examples to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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