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Describe a food product which is produced in your region. Please say- what the product is- where you can buy it- who usually buys it and why. v.1

Describe a food product which is produced in your region. Please say- what the product is- where you can buy it- who usually buys it and why. v. 1
Owing to the development of aeroplanes, it is convenient for people travelling around the world, especially for the remote area. This trend brings benefits for scientists on their research but also pose some threats to environmental exploitation. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if the regulation can enforce adequately. Visiting natural environment places broaden the educational horizon. For research some remote natural area such as the north pole, it is essential to travel that place. Researching on local can explore some unexpectable information which is challenging to study through books. This help scientist to acquire the-first-hand knowledge that became a piece of strong evidence in their research. Therefore, travelling to remote environments can enhance educational level. On the other hand, visitors sometimes cause an environmental issue in those remote areas. They throw the trash on the ground randomly; for instance, this would destroy the magnificent view and polluted it. A famous place called Machu Picchu in Peru is an example of this. Numbers of tourists came to travel without cautious attention to protect the environment, so that pose a dangerous problem to their habitats. As a result, the local government should have installed some law to avoid severe exploitation. In conclusion, travelling to the remote environmental area can enhance the knowledge for research while it would destroy the environment. A practical solution to address this is that local government should impose the law to restrict the number of visitors for a day. This regulation can significantly avoid the places suffering too much stress and still open for educational purpose.
Owing to the development of
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, it is convenient for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling around the world,
especially
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. This trend brings benefits for scientists on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
threats to environmental exploitation. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if the regulation can enforce
adequately
.

Visiting natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
broaden the educational horizon. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
such as the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
north pole
, it is essential to travel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Researching on local can explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
unexpectable
information which is challenging
Did you mean "studying"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to study
through books. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
scientist to acquire the-
first
-hand knowledge that became a piece of strong evidence in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Therefore
, travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environments
can enhance educational level.

On the other hand
, visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cause an environmental issue in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. They throw the trash on the ground
randomly
;
for instance
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the magnificent view and polluted it. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
called Machu Picchu in Peru is an example of this. Numbers of tourists came to travel without cautious attention to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that pose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
problem to their habitats.
As a result
, the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have installed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
law to avoid severe exploitation.

In conclusion
, travelling to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
can enhance the knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
while it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. A practical solution to address this is that local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose the law to restrict the number of visitors for a day. This regulation can
significantly
avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
suffering too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
still
open for educational purpose.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a food product which is produced in your region. Please say- what the product is- where you can buy it- who usually buys it and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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