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describe a city you have lived. Explain why this place is either a good place ora not a god place to live v.1

describe a city you have lived. Explain why this place is either a good place ora not a god place to live v. 1
The average age of the population for many nations around the world has been in decline in recent decades creating a situation where young people have become the world’s largest demographic, particularly in developing nations. Although there are decided drawbacks to this phenomenon related to expertise in the workforce, it is still a positive development because it will lead to booming economies in the coming years. The most frequently cited drawback to having a predominately young population is the lack of skilled workers in many important industries. A great example of this can be seen in Vietnam, which has one of the youngest populations in the world. Vietnam currently has very few leaders in important areas like engineering and technology. When it came time for Ho Chi Minh city to build a subway system, there were not enough skilled engineers to accomplish the feat. They had to hire a huge number of specialists from Japan and Thailand to ensure the quality of the project. The potential engineers for this project are still in school in Vietnam or studying abroad and it may be another decade before they are ready to design and execute large, complex infrastructure. It is not uncommon in developing countries with young populations to require outside assistance for national projects to the detriment of their own workers. Despite this drawback, the advantage of a young population is that it brings many future benefits to a country and is a key indicator of future economic prosperity. Japan famously has one of the oldest populations in the world and this has led them into a deep economic recession over the last 20 years as it becomes increasingly apparent that the nation will have to assume responsibilities related to healthcare and a dwindling workforce. Contrast this with the so-called ‘Tiger Economies’ of Southeast Asia that include Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia and Singapore. These countries have some of the youngest populations in the world, which, coupled with a growing middle class and better education, means that they will enjoy upward economic growth for decades to come. The middle class will expand because well-educated graduates will be able to get good jobs and this middle class will become a consumer class that feeds the economy. Overall, this is why having a young population is desirable for any nation. In conclusion, I fully believe that a younger population indicates a country is going to be successful in the future. The key element for all young populations is education and governments should focus on this in order to fully exploit the benefits of their demographics.
The average age of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has been in decline in recent decades creating a situation where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
largest demographic,
particularly
in developing nations. Although there
are decided
drawbacks to this phenomenon related to expertise in the workforce, it is
still
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will lead to booming economies in the coming years.

The most
frequently
cited drawback to having a
predominately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is the lack of skilled workers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
industries. A great example of this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Vietnam, which has one of the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Vietnam
currently
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few leaders in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
areas like engineering and technology. When it came time for
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
to build a subway system, there were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
skilled engineers to accomplish the feat. They had to hire a huge number of specialists from Japan and Thailand to ensure the quality of the project. The potential engineers for this project are
still
in school in Vietnam or studying abroad and it may be another decade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they are ready to design and execute large, complex infrastructure. It is not uncommon in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
to require outside assistance for national projects to the detriment of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
workers.

Despite this drawback, the advantage of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is that it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
future benefits to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and is a key indicator of future economic prosperity. Japan
famously
has one of the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and this has led them into a deep economic recession over the last 20 years as it becomes
increasingly
apparent that the nation will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
assume responsibilities related to healthcare and a dwindling workforce. Contrast this with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called ‘Tiger Economies’ of Southeast Asia that include Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia and Singapore. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, which, coupled with a growing middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and better education, means that they will enjoy upward economic growth for decades to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. The middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will expand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
well-educated graduates will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs and this middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will become a consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
that feeds the economy.
Overall
, this is why having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is desirable for any nation.

In conclusion
, I
fully
believe that a younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
indicates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is going to be successful in the future. The key element for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
is education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should focus on this in order to
fully
exploit the benefits of their demographics.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay describe a city you have lived. Explain why this place is either a good place ora not a god place to live v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
430 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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