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Nowadays experience is more valued in the work place than knowledge in many countries Do you think advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages v.1

Nowadays experience is more valued in the work place than knowledge in many countries Do you think advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages v. 1
Many individuals have a belief that seniors should be stayed at old age homes, while others, keeping the notion that living with family members in those later years is apt for them. I believe, that love and affection are most vital factors for senior citizens than the professional care. In this essay, I would argue for the seniors should spend this crucial tenure at home only. On the one hand, challenging physical circumstances requires the dedicated 24/7 professional support. At this age, the physical condition of the body gets deteriorating, where it needs someone to be taken care, always with professional assistance to cater the emergencies, if they occur. For instance, a report published by the NHS, states that, if on-time first aid treatment such as, Oxygen Nebultization would have been provided in these emergency conditions, 30% of the lives might be saved in last 5 years. On the flip side, to overcome such challenging physical circumstances, more prone to occur at this stage, the psychological support part plays a vital role too or even more effective than professional care. Moreover, homely environment, in the company of kids and adults of family members, they tend to forget their misery during those moments. The cherishing moments spent with them, eventually plays a bigger role in health improvement, which might sometimes could not be cured with medicines or professional assistance at old age homes. To sum up, I conclude that professional help is of great significance for elderly people, but it is the psychological support from their near and dear ones, which is very helpful for the betterment of their help, who might already have gone through the long medication process, but could not achieve the best of results for them.
Many
individuals have a belief that seniors should
be stayed
at
old
age homes, while others, keeping the notion that living with family members in those later years is apt for them. I believe, that
love
and affection are
most
vital factors for senior citizens than the
professional
care. In this essay, I would argue for the seniors should spend this crucial tenure at home
only
.

On the one hand, challenging physical circumstances requires the dedicated 24/7
professional
support. At this age, the physical condition of the body
gets
deteriorating, where it needs someone to
be taken
care, always with
professional
assistance to cater the emergencies, if they occur.
For instance
, a report published by the NHS, states that, if on-time
first
aid treatment such as, Oxygen
Nebultization
would have
been provided
in these emergency conditions, 30% of the
lives
might
be saved
in last 5 years.

On the flip side, to overcome such challenging physical circumstances, more prone to occur at this stage, the psychological support part plays a vital role too or even more effective than
professional
care.
Moreover
, homely environment, in the
company
of kids and adults of family members, they tend to forget their misery during those moments. The cherishing moments spent with them,
eventually
plays a bigger role in health improvement, which might
sometimes
could not
be cured
with medicines or
professional
assistance at
old
age homes.

To sum up, I conclude that
professional
help
is of great significance for elderly
people
,
but
it is the psychological support from their near and dear ones, which is
very
helpful for the betterment of their
help
, who might already have gone through the long medication process,
but
could not achieve the best of results for them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays experience is more valued in the work place than knowledge in many countries Do you think advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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