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Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
As countries around the world continue to modernise and develop, there is more consumerism, industry, and transport and a corresponding need for more gas and oil. One option to meet this demand is to find it in otherwise untouched and remote places, such as the North Pole. However, I believe that doing this is not the right solution. There are benefits to such a strategy. This is firstly the fact that people wish to improve their living standards, particularly in developing countries, and fuels such as oil and gas allow this as they enable the heating of homes, the running of cars and planes, and the production of goods. All of these result in higher living standards, and thus we need to keep finding new sources since we will eventually run out. However, despite this, there are major problems with exploiting untouched and remote locations. One issue is that we will end up potentially jeopardising what are beautiful landscapes. For instance, an area which countries would like to drill is the Antarctic, home to many glaciers and animals such as polar bears and penguins. Drilling here would harm the habitat, and in particular, any spillages would be disastrous to the environment. Not only this, due to heath issues and global warming we should no longer be seeking to use such forms of energy. It is evident that the use of these fuels on a wide-scale has led to the pollution of many cities and the subsequent poor health of its citizens where car use is so high. Also, carbon dioxide is getting released into the atmosphere, and this may be endangering our very existence. Therefore, we should be aiming to utilise more eco-friendly options such as wind and sun for power and electricity for cars. To conclude, although there is an advantage of finding new places to get oil and gas, which is that we can sustain and improve our living standards, the negative impacts outweigh this as we will damage those environments, as well as continue to harm our health and the planet.
As countries around the world continue to
modernise
and develop, there is more consumerism, industry, and transport and a corresponding need for more gas and oil. One option to
meet
this demand is to find it in
otherwise
untouched and remote places, such as the North Pole.
However
, I believe that doing this is not the right solution.

There are benefits to such a strategy. This is
firstly
the fact that
people
wish to
improve
their living standards,
particularly
in
developing countries
, and fuels such as oil and gas
allow
this as they enable the heating of homes, the running of cars and
planes
, and the production of
goods
. All of these result in higher living standards, and
thus
we need to
keep
finding new sources since we will
eventually
run out.

However
, despite this, there are major problems with exploiting untouched and remote locations. One issue is that we will
end
up
potentially
jeopardising
what are
beautiful
landscapes.
For instance
, an area which countries would like to drill is the Antarctic, home to
many
glaciers and animals such as polar bears and penguins. Drilling here would harm the habitat, and
in particular
, any spillages would be disastrous to the environment.

Not
only
this, due to heath issues and global warming we should no longer be seeking to
use
such forms of energy. It is evident that the
use
of these fuels on a wide-scale has led to the pollution of
many
cities and the subsequent poor health of its citizens where car
use
is
so
high.
Also
, carbon dioxide is getting released into the atmosphere, and this may be endangering our
very
existence.
Therefore
, we should be aiming to
utilise
more eco-friendly options such as wind and sun for power and electricity for cars.

To conclude
, although there is an advantage of finding new places to
get
oil and gas, which is that we can sustain and
improve
our living standards, the
negative
impacts outweigh this as we will damage those environments,
as well
as continue to harm our health and the planet.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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