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Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts the word, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solved this problem v.1

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts the word, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solved this problem v. 1
Cutting down of trees in the forest caused by human activity in several parts of the world has made an untoward repercussions in our surroundings. In this essay, I will discuss the counter measures to curb this predicament. To begin with, trees are our major source of making clothes, bag, paper and things in that nature, I think people should resort to another way to make these items without harming the environment. Firstly, paperless system is currently practiced in school, in some private sectors and even in hospitals. Paper is an indispensable item, but with the advancement of technology, we will soon live in a paperless lifestyle. Secondly, dressmaker and bag manufacturers must use certain type of material to produce these items and not to use trees as a source of these textiles. Also, the government should impose a strict regulation for illegal loggers. For one thing, if someone is caught doing this act, they should pay a fine and be penalized for invading mother nature. Another thing, authorities should be obliged to let people know the benefits of the forest. It should be emphasized that trees prevent flooding and forest are the natural habitat of our wild animals. Without these, balance of nature is possible to happen and it will soon affect our food chain. In conclusion, we can solve deforestation by thinking of other ways on how to replace trees as our major source for products, which are useful in our lives such as paper, clothing and bags. To add, government authorities should impose a stringent regulation about deforestation.
Cutting down of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
in the forest caused by human activity in several parts of the world has made an untoward
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "repercussion"?
repercussions
in our surroundings. In this essay, I will discuss the counter measures to curb this predicament.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
are our major source of making clothes, bag, paper and things in that nature, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should resort to another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these items without harming the environment.
Firstly
, paperless system is
currently
practiced in school, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private sectors and even in hospitals. Paper is an indispensable item,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the advancement of technology, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a paperless lifestyle.
Secondly
, dressmaker and bag manufacturers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
certain type of material to produce these items and not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
as a source of these textiles.

Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose a strict regulation for illegal loggers. For one thing, if someone
is caught
doing this act, they should pay a fine and
be penalized
for invading mother nature. Another thing, authorities should
be obliged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know the benefits of the forest. It should
be emphasized
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
flooding and forest are the natural habitat of our wild animals. Without these, balance of nature is possible to happen and it will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
affect our food chain.

In conclusion
, we can solve deforestation by thinking of other ways on how to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
as our major source for products, which are useful in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
such as paper, clothing and bags. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities should impose a stringent regulation about deforestation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts the word, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solved this problem v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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