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Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v.3

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v. 3
Deforestation, which is globally widespread nowadays, has led to the mitigation of vegetates and subsequently, oxygen depletion. This successive process will cause the extinction of various living arrays and eventually, it will affect the human nutrition supply. Thus, particular commitments are required to not only maintain the natural environment, but also guarantee a stable supply for industries. While logging industries meet the raw wooden material needs of North American countries, they also cause significant drought within the region as well as air pollution due to the lack of sufficient plants treating air pollutants. Despite the undeniable necessity of wooden commodities production, governments should impose a variety of protection policies to maintain the climate and prevent vast deforestation by either increasing the taxes or impressing the companies to abide by certain production limitations. On the other hand, the NGOs should also encourage the utilization of less wooden materials in construction, house interior design, etc. As a result of these policies, air pollution, soil erosion, and seasonal flooding will considerably mitigate and climate change will be significantly affected. These discussions are essential but not sufficient. Indeed, there are more factors engaged with this pandemic, like vast fires in the forests due to global warming, denationalizing the vegetated areas for tourism purposes, etc. Each one of the specified factors requires particular solutions. Nevertheless, the development of human societies is of similar concern. Accordingly, extending the current vegetated areas with respect to available water resources as well as preventing the unnecessary use of wooden materials is suggested.
Deforestation, which is globally widespread nowadays, has led to the mitigation of vegetates and
subsequently
, oxygen depletion. This successive process will cause the extinction of various living arrays and
eventually
, it will affect the human nutrition supply.
Thus
, particular commitments
are required
to not
only
maintain the natural environment,
but
also
guarantee a stable supply for industries. While logging industries
meet
the raw wooden material needs of North American countries, they
also
cause significant drought within the region
as well
as air pollution due to the lack of sufficient plants treating air pollutants. Despite the undeniable necessity of wooden
commodities
production,
governments
should impose a variety of protection policies to maintain the climate and
prevent
vast deforestation by either increasing the taxes or impressing the
companies
to abide by certain production limitations.
On the other hand
, the NGOs should
also
encourage the utilization of less wooden materials in construction,
house
interior design, etc.
As a result
of these policies, air pollution, soil erosion, and seasonal flooding will
considerably
mitigate and climate
change
will be
significantly
affected
. These discussions are essential
but
not sufficient.
Indeed
, there are more factors engaged with this pandemic, like vast fires in the forests due to global warming, denationalizing the vegetated areas for tourism purposes, etc. Each one of the specified factors requires particular solutions.
Nevertheless
, the development of human societies is of similar concern.
Accordingly
, extending the
current
vegetated areas with respect to available water resources
as well
as preventing the unnecessary
use
of wooden materials
is suggested
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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