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Cycling is more environmentally friendly than others forms of transport. Why it is not popular in any places? And how to increase its popularity? v.1

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than others forms of transport. Why it is not popular in any places? And how to increase its popularity? v. 1
These days being a good member is most important in our society. It is the responsibility of parents should teach their children to be good. However, some people think that school is the place where it is to be taught. In this essay, I will discuss about the both sides of the argument and give my opinion. Firstly, parents should encourage their children to participate in social awareness programs and they should learn to overcome failures that they face in their life. Apart from that, due to the busy life, it is hard for parents to spend some quality time with their children. For instance, there is no time for parents to spend with their children because of their daily jobs and works. So, there is no way that a parent can teach children, how to be good and discuss the valuable information, which is useful in their life. In contrast, school is the best place to learn many things and new information about the community. However, children can learn to be good in society, there are many cons of schooling. For example, school is the place where we find many types of toxic people and it may result in bad behaviour of our children. Apart from studies, teachers should teach the life lessons to their students from their own life experiences. In conclusion, By discussing the both sides of the argument in the above aforementioned points, it is responsible for both parents and academic to teach the children how to be good in society. In my humble opinion, parents should spend their time with their children to teach them a great knowledge. The government should implement new social awareness programs in all schools apart from education and sports, to develop good qualities in children.
These days being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our society. It is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the place where it is to
be taught
. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in social awareness
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
programs and
they should learn to overcome failures that they face in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Apart from that, due to the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, there is no time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their daily jobs and works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no way that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and discuss the valuable information, which is useful in their life.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things and new information about the community.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in society, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cons of schooling.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the place where we find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of toxic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and it may result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Apart from studies, teachers should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons to their students from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences.

In conclusion
, By discussing the both sides of the argument in the above aforementioned points, it is responsible for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and academic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in society. In my humble opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend their time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "great knowledge".
a great knowledge
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement new social awareness programs in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
apart from education and sports, to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
qualities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Cycling is more environmentally friendly than others forms of transport. Why it is not popular in any places? And how to increase its popularity? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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